Woe is Me

I just got home from having strangers stick their fingers and cold metal things up my vag, AKA the OB/GYN for a PAP smear. The hospital I go to for it is connected with a local medical school, so they have students and interns watch or do procedures under supervision. They had to wiggle around the speculum a great many times because my insides are weird, but beyond that I just stared calmly up at the light, which had a boring picture of hot air balloons over it. The doctor said, "You are so calm, cool, and collected! Thank you so much!" It must have been those hypnotizing hot air balloons.

I'm really hoping to get some quality time with the man in my life. This weekend was a no-go, everything is a no-go, I'm sad and hopeful.