One Step Forward... Backwards...

So time is passing. I'm doing quite well - I started a second job/internship which is in my creative field and I am kicking ass. It's so much fun and motivating to be doing what I hope to do for the rest of my life (or something like that) before I've even graduated. There seems to be an opportunity for long-term employment, which is even more exciting. I feel good. This Monday I begin a summer class. It will be a busy summer, to keep my mind clear.

Ninja and I have been okay. What does that mean? We chat, we'll do dishes, we'll still watch tv shows together, and we go our separate ways and do our thing. He'll go to The Other Woman's house, and talk to her, in addition to his friends, or so I expect. I work and go out with my friends more. He plays xbox more than ever.

I've slept with him twice since the break-up.

I didn't want to, but I did want to as well. Maybe I just feel poorly because he is the only one to give me physical attention, the only one who wants me. I still care about him and can't deny the pleasures of the flesh.

But he obviously doesn't even want me. I would have fucked him five times a day for the rest of my life, done every act he would have ever mentioned, and it still did me no good. He needed the "excitement" of another woman, his own words. I wanted him every day, but he didn't want me.

Ugh. I'm going through the post-breakup thing, which I'm not very good at. I'm happy to be meeting other people and staying busy. What does moving on mean? When is someone ready for a relationship? Why the fuck can't people be monogamous?