Come with Me..... oh wait.

A week or so ago, I layed down in bed with Ninja. Finals were wearing me out, and I seem to enjoy taking naps when I can. Our clothes were in a pile on the floor, along with all the other piles of clothes we've got carelessly strewn about our room. I take comfort in the fact that we always lay in the nude; it is the greatest feeling to be curled up against his warm flesh. He seems to be a furnace, and I am always cold. In his kindness, he lets me put my ice-cube toes all over him until they're warm again. Haha.

Often before we fall asleep, he will place his hands on my pelvic bones, applying pressure. He pulls on my skin, and pushes with his hips. The effect is instant - my legs part and his hands find their way there.

He slipped his erection inside me and played with my clit. Differently, though, this time, he brought my hands there as well. "I want to cum with you," he said. A mixture of arousal and anxiety filled me. "I would love to do that," I replied.

I tried to get into a groove, but laying with another person is so much different than normal masturbation. My body was overrun with the sensation of his cock slowly moving inside me, and my fingers pulling up at my clit. I couldn't figure out what to pay attention to, what would bring me to an orgasm.

I've only cum twice in front of him, and both times I was consumed with embarassment. Why? I don't know. But it's all I dream of. He is what gets me off; I replay our lovemaking time and time again in the privacy of our bed. Why can't I do it in real life? I don't know. The physical sensations are different, and I am confused by them. I don't know how to read them, how to react, what will make me hotter.

But I wanted to try. "It will take a while," I warned him meekly. He smiled and said we had all day.

Comforted, I pulled up at my labia, exposing my clit, rolling it around and stimulating myself. I felt the tugging down from his cock in my pussy, and he ran his hands across my body.

I was getting into it, slowly, feeling my way. My pussy was so swollen from arousal that it was difficult for me. But he was behind me, on my side, touching me, and it was heavenly.

And then he came.

Bummer.

I got upset that I couldn't perform, but he corrected me and apologized for cumming, that he was supposed to last longer.

I just wish it would go right. I'm so terribly embarassed when I know I shouldn't be. Ridiculous.

Like a Cat, but Not Like a Cougar

I've been like a cat. Stealthy. Attentative. Cautious. Intended. Prepared.

I've bathed, shaved, put off masturbating, masturbated too much, put on the pretties, and tip-toed around just waiting for the right moment to dig my nails into him and rip his clothes off.

Buuuuuuuut there is no right moment. He's talking to someone on the phone, playing games with his brother, watching a show, tired, on his way to work, cuddling me innocently, this and that... and I can never just take initiative.

EVER.

It's my fear of being an inconvenience, of being in the way, of being untimely, of being ungrateful for the little things. Sometimes I get annoyed and ask blatantly when he's busy just to hear him think I'm joking, laugh, and say no. Just to, I don't know, twist the knife.

Now the poor boy is in bed early, off to work at 5am, and I want nothing more than to move against him and feel good. But it would be rude. So I probably won't.

I'll probably go play with myself for the third time today. What a waste.

They say a woman's libido grows and grow's 'til she's thirty years old. I'm really not looking forward to it.