A week or so ago, I layed down in bed with Ninja. Finals were wearing me out, and I seem to enjoy taking naps when I can. Our clothes were in a pile on the floor, along with all the other piles of clothes we've got carelessly strewn about our room. I take comfort in the fact that we always lay in the nude; it is the greatest feeling to be curled up against his warm flesh. He seems to be a furnace, and I am always cold. In his kindness, he lets me put my ice-cube toes all over him until they're warm again. Haha.
Often before we fall asleep, he will place his hands on my pelvic bones, applying pressure. He pulls on my skin, and pushes with his hips. The effect is instant - my legs part and his hands find their way there.
He slipped his erection inside me and played with my clit. Differently, though, this time, he brought my hands there as well. "I want to cum with you," he said. A mixture of arousal and anxiety filled me. "I would love to do that," I replied.
I tried to get into a groove, but laying with another person is so much different than normal masturbation. My body was overrun with the sensation of his cock slowly moving inside me, and my fingers pulling up at my clit. I couldn't figure out what to pay attention to, what would bring me to an orgasm.
I've only cum twice in front of him, and both times I was consumed with embarassment. Why? I don't know. But it's all I dream of. He is what gets me off; I replay our lovemaking time and time again in the privacy of our bed. Why can't I do it in real life? I don't know. The physical sensations are different, and I am confused by them. I don't know how to read them, how to react, what will make me hotter.
But I wanted to try. "It will take a while," I warned him meekly. He smiled and said we had all day.
Comforted, I pulled up at my labia, exposing my clit, rolling it around and stimulating myself. I felt the tugging down from his cock in my pussy, and he ran his hands across my body.
I was getting into it, slowly, feeling my way. My pussy was so swollen from arousal that it was difficult for me. But he was behind me, on my side, touching me, and it was heavenly.
And then he came.
Bummer.
I got upset that I couldn't perform, but he corrected me and apologized for cumming, that he was supposed to last longer.
I just wish it would go right. I'm so terribly embarassed when I know I shouldn't be. Ridiculous.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Monday, December 14, 2009
Like a Cat, but Not Like a Cougar
I've been like a cat. Stealthy. Attentative. Cautious. Intended. Prepared.
I've bathed, shaved, put off masturbating, masturbated too much, put on the pretties, and tip-toed around just waiting for the right moment to dig my nails into him and rip his clothes off.
Buuuuuuuut there is no right moment. He's talking to someone on the phone, playing games with his brother, watching a show, tired, on his way to work, cuddling me innocently, this and that... and I can never just take initiative.
EVER.
It's my fear of being an inconvenience, of being in the way, of being untimely, of being ungrateful for the little things. Sometimes I get annoyed and ask blatantly when he's busy just to hear him think I'm joking, laugh, and say no. Just to, I don't know, twist the knife.
Now the poor boy is in bed early, off to work at 5am, and I want nothing more than to move against him and feel good. But it would be rude. So I probably won't.
I'll probably go play with myself for the third time today. What a waste.
They say a woman's libido grows and grow's 'til she's thirty years old. I'm really not looking forward to it.
I've bathed, shaved, put off masturbating, masturbated too much, put on the pretties, and tip-toed around just waiting for the right moment to dig my nails into him and rip his clothes off.
Buuuuuuuut there is no right moment. He's talking to someone on the phone, playing games with his brother, watching a show, tired, on his way to work, cuddling me innocently, this and that... and I can never just take initiative.
EVER.
It's my fear of being an inconvenience, of being in the way, of being untimely, of being ungrateful for the little things. Sometimes I get annoyed and ask blatantly when he's busy just to hear him think I'm joking, laugh, and say no. Just to, I don't know, twist the knife.
Now the poor boy is in bed early, off to work at 5am, and I want nothing more than to move against him and feel good. But it would be rude. So I probably won't.
I'll probably go play with myself for the third time today. What a waste.
They say a woman's libido grows and grow's 'til she's thirty years old. I'm really not looking forward to it.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Lingerie Adventures
On Black Friday I went out with my friend London to hit the mall(s). I didn't want to spend much; I just wanted some lampshades and some new non-ratty clothes. What did I come home with? No lampshades, no new clothes, all the stores were crap. Well, no clothes that I can actually wear anywhere. I got..... some lingerie!
London is a mega fan of the stuff and has quite the collection. She likes to do a bit of dancing and stripping and tip-toeing around in the 5-inch heels. All the boys like it! She's been prodding at me to get some and test it out on Ninja.
I felt like such an old hag. I know that I always have wanted to get some pretty underthings, and I know that most men probably like things like that. But Ninja? Does he? I mean, I don't wear make-up. I don't dress up. We both are pretty low-key people. He criticizes a lot of feminine clothing, actually! So I was a bundle of big ol' nerves and never did anything beyond window shopping.
Maybe it was because I finally decided to go out on a limb, or maybe it was because I sacrificed the day of work and I would have been pissed if I didn't get something to show for it. Whatever the case, in the end I walked away with a bra-and-pantie set that is still too small for my big boobs (can't quite get it through my head that I'm at least a D cup), some other things, and a thing called a "teddy". Why it has such a name, I don't know.
That night, when Ninja came home from work, it was a scene reminiscent of the evening prior. I heard the train stop outside, I dashed to the window to see if he was coming out, and ran around the apartment panicking and wondering what I should do. Run to the bathroom and change?! No, no, I stood there...
Wait, what was the evening prior? Well, I took baby steps and was apparently subconsciously aware that I would need some practice before getting actual pretty underthings. I recently aquired an apron that's cute and kitchen-y, and most importantly is open in the back and makes my tits look nice from the front. I decided to cook a fine dinner and deliver his food to him wearing just that. That night, I hid by the door and poked my head out when he opened it, SURPRISE! Naked girlfriend!
He had the biggest look of shock, and I forget what he said. But he felt me up and his response was all positive! He even cracked up and thoroughly enjoyed the too-cliche "kiss the cook" photo I took of myself in the kitchen, in the outfit, with a spoon that I put on his desktop! Haha. His reaction probably fuelled my confidence in going ahead with the real deal. My dinner wasn't too bad, either...
Back to the present: so there I was, in my nice matching set which I hid with my robe. Ninja came in, and I was very upset to remember that he had about 15 minutes home before he had to leave for his other job. I said I had another present for him after giving him a nice greeting, and he asked to see it. Put off, I told him he'd have to wait 'til he got home at midnight.
The smart boy he is, had me sit on his lap while he checked his mail, and he felt up my legs and asked "what is thiiiiis?" and begged to see it. Give him something to look forward to, he said. Okay, okay, I'm no good at refusing, so I undid my robe and gave him a look. His eyes nearly fell out of his head, but then he noticed my nipple was peeking out...
After tragically giving him a hard-on before work, I promised to let him have more when he got home. I spent more time working on taking and editing some sexy photos than my homework, which I replaced the kitchen-pic with.
When he did return from work, he was dreadfully tired and I didn't push anything sexy. I just lazed around in my hotness, swimming in his lovely compliments. Whew! If I didn't have those, I don't know what I'd do.
He thought the pics I took were very professional, ahaha. I put 'em in black and white and upped the contrast a bit. It was lots of fun and I'm glad :D I will do it more often.
Today Architect Roommate is back home, so no more sexy surprises for Ninja. I haven't revealed to him everything I've gotten, and now I don't know when I'll get the chance to. Oh well, when it does, I'll be ready! And he'd better be, too!
London is a mega fan of the stuff and has quite the collection. She likes to do a bit of dancing and stripping and tip-toeing around in the 5-inch heels. All the boys like it! She's been prodding at me to get some and test it out on Ninja.
I felt like such an old hag. I know that I always have wanted to get some pretty underthings, and I know that most men probably like things like that. But Ninja? Does he? I mean, I don't wear make-up. I don't dress up. We both are pretty low-key people. He criticizes a lot of feminine clothing, actually! So I was a bundle of big ol' nerves and never did anything beyond window shopping.
Maybe it was because I finally decided to go out on a limb, or maybe it was because I sacrificed the day of work and I would have been pissed if I didn't get something to show for it. Whatever the case, in the end I walked away with a bra-and-pantie set that is still too small for my big boobs (can't quite get it through my head that I'm at least a D cup), some other things, and a thing called a "teddy". Why it has such a name, I don't know.
That night, when Ninja came home from work, it was a scene reminiscent of the evening prior. I heard the train stop outside, I dashed to the window to see if he was coming out, and ran around the apartment panicking and wondering what I should do. Run to the bathroom and change?! No, no, I stood there...
Wait, what was the evening prior? Well, I took baby steps and was apparently subconsciously aware that I would need some practice before getting actual pretty underthings. I recently aquired an apron that's cute and kitchen-y, and most importantly is open in the back and makes my tits look nice from the front. I decided to cook a fine dinner and deliver his food to him wearing just that. That night, I hid by the door and poked my head out when he opened it, SURPRISE! Naked girlfriend!
He had the biggest look of shock, and I forget what he said. But he felt me up and his response was all positive! He even cracked up and thoroughly enjoyed the too-cliche "kiss the cook" photo I took of myself in the kitchen, in the outfit, with a spoon that I put on his desktop! Haha. His reaction probably fuelled my confidence in going ahead with the real deal. My dinner wasn't too bad, either...
Back to the present: so there I was, in my nice matching set which I hid with my robe. Ninja came in, and I was very upset to remember that he had about 15 minutes home before he had to leave for his other job. I said I had another present for him after giving him a nice greeting, and he asked to see it. Put off, I told him he'd have to wait 'til he got home at midnight.
The smart boy he is, had me sit on his lap while he checked his mail, and he felt up my legs and asked "what is thiiiiis?" and begged to see it. Give him something to look forward to, he said. Okay, okay, I'm no good at refusing, so I undid my robe and gave him a look. His eyes nearly fell out of his head, but then he noticed my nipple was peeking out...
After tragically giving him a hard-on before work, I promised to let him have more when he got home. I spent more time working on taking and editing some sexy photos than my homework, which I replaced the kitchen-pic with.
When he did return from work, he was dreadfully tired and I didn't push anything sexy. I just lazed around in my hotness, swimming in his lovely compliments. Whew! If I didn't have those, I don't know what I'd do.
He thought the pics I took were very professional, ahaha. I put 'em in black and white and upped the contrast a bit. It was lots of fun and I'm glad :D I will do it more often.
Today Architect Roommate is back home, so no more sexy surprises for Ninja. I haven't revealed to him everything I've gotten, and now I don't know when I'll get the chance to. Oh well, when it does, I'll be ready! And he'd better be, too!
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Don't Say Stupid Things
FML. Last night Ninja and I cuddled up to my computer and watched the latest ever-addicting Grey's Anatomy online. He'd just gotten home from his job, and took off his work shirt, leaving the white undershirt beneath.
I made a remark about removing his undershirt, and that if he did, I would too.
"You don't have to be naked for me to love you," he said.
I shut up and curled myself beside him, quiet.
I feel guilty for what I said :[ It's not like that at all. I embarass myself all the time.
I made a remark about removing his undershirt, and that if he did, I would too.
"You don't have to be naked for me to love you," he said.
I shut up and curled myself beside him, quiet.
I feel guilty for what I said :[ It's not like that at all. I embarass myself all the time.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
OR ELSE
I am sitting at my computer in a nice, earthy green button-down shirt. The top few buttons are undone and my tits look very nice, peeking out as they do. When I got home from work, I immediately went to our bedroom to remove my undershirt and bra. Later, I went and sat by Ninja and he decided to undo some of the buttons. The look on his face was priceless when he was greeted by flesh. Mission accomplished.
NINJA, LOOK AT MY BOOBS.
PLEASE.
TOUCH ME.
LET ME GIVE YOU A BLOWJOB.
I need sex so bad I'm dying for attention. I'm on the last day or so of my period, and we didn't do anything for a few days prior... too long. Too long.
I NEED IT SOON OR ELSE.
NINJA, LOOK AT MY BOOBS.
PLEASE.
TOUCH ME.
LET ME GIVE YOU A BLOWJOB.
I need sex so bad I'm dying for attention. I'm on the last day or so of my period, and we didn't do anything for a few days prior... too long. Too long.
I NEED IT SOON OR ELSE.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Little Things of Lovemaking
Well... Ninja didn't get in the sack with Medusa that night. We stayed up late and crashed in bed together.
But we've had some fun escapades since then, and I still hold out hope for one day...
That next morning I was doing something or other on the floor in front of the TV, when I felt something creep up my leg, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh hey there penis! A minute into the saucy ordeal, Architect Roommate came out! Ninja pulled out fast, and I, bewildered, started playing with some 3D glasses we had laying around. No, not doing anything at all!
Ninja took my hand and we ran to the bedroom, he ripped off my shorts and... came in a record-breaking 5 seconds. He said he had to pee, lmao.
He did more than make it up to me the next morning, doing me good all over for I don't even know how long. We were left in a nice, sweaty mess. He's so fabulous.
We got a bunch of new furniture from my gracious boss, and I can't wait to break them officially, aaaahaha!
But we've had some fun escapades since then, and I still hold out hope for one day...
That next morning I was doing something or other on the floor in front of the TV, when I felt something creep up my leg, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh hey there penis! A minute into the saucy ordeal, Architect Roommate came out! Ninja pulled out fast, and I, bewildered, started playing with some 3D glasses we had laying around. No, not doing anything at all!
Ninja took my hand and we ran to the bedroom, he ripped off my shorts and... came in a record-breaking 5 seconds. He said he had to pee, lmao.
He did more than make it up to me the next morning, doing me good all over for I don't even know how long. We were left in a nice, sweaty mess. He's so fabulous.
We got a bunch of new furniture from my gracious boss, and I can't wait to break them officially, aaaahaha!
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Halloween Naughties
Happy Halloween!
I'm Medusa. It's a halter-top dress, which makes my tits look awesome, and the midsection has some criss-crossing which does good things for my curves. For not being a dress kinda girl, obviously I can rock a costume.
Ninja originally suggested that he would be, in harmony with my costume, made of stone. You know, the mythology that whomever Medusa looked upon would turn to stone... well, he ended up being a vampire.
We had a nice time walking around the Halloween-crazy neighborhood, and skipped going to a party. We're going to watch a scary movie tonight, and cuddle on the floor.
He told me to keep my custume on because he wants to fuck Medusa and undress me. Ummmm yes please?
I'm Medusa. It's a halter-top dress, which makes my tits look awesome, and the midsection has some criss-crossing which does good things for my curves. For not being a dress kinda girl, obviously I can rock a costume.
Ninja originally suggested that he would be, in harmony with my costume, made of stone. You know, the mythology that whomever Medusa looked upon would turn to stone... well, he ended up being a vampire.
We had a nice time walking around the Halloween-crazy neighborhood, and skipped going to a party. We're going to watch a scary movie tonight, and cuddle on the floor.
He told me to keep my custume on because he wants to fuck Medusa and undress me. Ummmm yes please?
Monday, October 26, 2009
Be Ready
So last night I had to go out with London to help her with a project. Before leaving, I went out in a limb and told Ninja, who has been watching True Blood these past few days, that he had better be ready when I come back.
"Why?" he asked.
"Because, I want to do you."
He laughed, and I said I wouldn't if he was going to laugh at me...
I came back and he was still absorbed in the show, all wrapped up in a Mexican blanket. Too bashful to interrupt, I went about my business and tried to forget what I wanted to do.
Some minutes later, he turned to me, and reminded me, "You said to be ready when you came back..." He peeled back the blanket to reveal his nakedness, and his flaccid cock just begging to get hard. I abandoned all conversations I was having and went over to him, leaning over his chair while he rubbed my thighs and pulled down my underwear. A few minutes of heating up and he put his hands on my pelvis, turning my around and sitting myself on his lap. He touched me, held my breasts, and soon his cock was standing up between my thighs. Yesss, mission accomplished.
Some minor adjustments and we were a working machine, with my back to him, and I had my feet on his thighs and was lifting myself on him in a nice, pleasing way. I heard him moan behind me, and I leaned forward.
Oh, fuck was it a good idea. His balls were pulled up tight against his body, and that thick ridge running up the underside of his cock was slick with my wetness. So good, so hot. I love his penis. I told him so, too, "God, you are so hot," and I heard him breathe louder behind me.
I had to go and screw it up, though, because soon my wrists were on fire, as I was holding myself up on them. Ninja didn't seem too bothered, he gathered my legs and in some crazy motion carried me and layed us down on the floor in the living room. I propped up my body and lifted my ass to him, and I felt his balls on my skin again...
We layed on the scratchy floor together to regenerate. But that wasn't all that happened that night.
Well, I guess it was morning because the sky was lightening up, but I awoke and we were spooning, him behind me. My leg was lifted and curled around his, exposing myself and his hand had already found my clit. He was strumming me like a giiiiitar. Ninja was right on target, and I was feeling awesome things, clawing the wall and twitching all over and lovely things.
I felt bad, figuring his arm was getting tired, and I was horny as all get out, so I rolled over and rode him. I don't even know how to explain. I felt superclose to something orgasmic, but eventually it ended with no orgasms, and I fell asleep... or we fell asleep.I don't know what happened.
Apparently Ninja doesn't know, either, because he claimed he woke up to me jumping him! Could he really have done all that while asleep? I do not know...
"Why?" he asked.
"Because, I want to do you."
He laughed, and I said I wouldn't if he was going to laugh at me...
I came back and he was still absorbed in the show, all wrapped up in a Mexican blanket. Too bashful to interrupt, I went about my business and tried to forget what I wanted to do.
Some minutes later, he turned to me, and reminded me, "You said to be ready when you came back..." He peeled back the blanket to reveal his nakedness, and his flaccid cock just begging to get hard. I abandoned all conversations I was having and went over to him, leaning over his chair while he rubbed my thighs and pulled down my underwear. A few minutes of heating up and he put his hands on my pelvis, turning my around and sitting myself on his lap. He touched me, held my breasts, and soon his cock was standing up between my thighs. Yesss, mission accomplished.
Some minor adjustments and we were a working machine, with my back to him, and I had my feet on his thighs and was lifting myself on him in a nice, pleasing way. I heard him moan behind me, and I leaned forward.
Oh, fuck was it a good idea. His balls were pulled up tight against his body, and that thick ridge running up the underside of his cock was slick with my wetness. So good, so hot. I love his penis. I told him so, too, "God, you are so hot," and I heard him breathe louder behind me.
I had to go and screw it up, though, because soon my wrists were on fire, as I was holding myself up on them. Ninja didn't seem too bothered, he gathered my legs and in some crazy motion carried me and layed us down on the floor in the living room. I propped up my body and lifted my ass to him, and I felt his balls on my skin again...
We layed on the scratchy floor together to regenerate. But that wasn't all that happened that night.
Well, I guess it was morning because the sky was lightening up, but I awoke and we were spooning, him behind me. My leg was lifted and curled around his, exposing myself and his hand had already found my clit. He was strumming me like a giiiiitar. Ninja was right on target, and I was feeling awesome things, clawing the wall and twitching all over and lovely things.
I felt bad, figuring his arm was getting tired, and I was horny as all get out, so I rolled over and rode him. I don't even know how to explain. I felt superclose to something orgasmic, but eventually it ended with no orgasms, and I fell asleep... or we fell asleep.I don't know what happened.
Apparently Ninja doesn't know, either, because he claimed he woke up to me jumping him! Could he really have done all that while asleep? I do not know...
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Dreamy Dreams
A few days ago I woke up late. 8:30 is nice, 9:00 is typical, but that morning it wasn't 'til my alarm woke me at 10:15. I crawled out of bed, wrapped a fleece blanket around me, and asked Ninja if he wanted to know why I hadn't gotten up 'til then.
"You were masturbating?" he asked, and I was appalled. I have never told him when I'd masturbated recently. "No, I'd never say that!"
He was out of guesses.
Well, you see, the jerk was in my dreams, and we kept trying to have sex in all sorts of instances and circumstances. But for one reason or another, it never panned out! So finally my dream-self made me-self wake up and get on with the day. Not the best way to wake up...
"You were masturbating?" he asked, and I was appalled. I have never told him when I'd masturbated recently. "No, I'd never say that!"
He was out of guesses.
Well, you see, the jerk was in my dreams, and we kept trying to have sex in all sorts of instances and circumstances. But for one reason or another, it never panned out! So finally my dream-self made me-self wake up and get on with the day. Not the best way to wake up...
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Angel Moments
Sick, I skipped class today. After Ninja returned from his, he came to bed and napped with me. I got up a bit later after having slept 13 hours, but returned to him a while later to snuggle. I crawled up behind him and draped my leg over his waist, and my arm around his shoulders. He held my hand in one of his, and with the other intwined his fingers with my toes. SO CUTE.
Yes, that makes up for not sharing the two big cupcakes I meant for us earlier... Hahaha.
Yes, that makes up for not sharing the two big cupcakes I meant for us earlier... Hahaha.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
More Days Like This
Today is the first day in a while that Ninja and I have shared a day off.
He pulled me on top of him... and then I remembered that I had my DivaCup still in. "MOON RUINER" he called after me as I went to the bathroom to remove it. I came back and he'd covered himself in pillows and blankets, so I pulled them off his body and put my lips on his cock. A few minutes of that and I crept up his body and he slid into me...
"Thank you for fucking me," he said to me afterwards, sprawled out over our pillows. The window is right at the head of our bed, and it brought out the redness in his hair and whiskers, and the planed of his face. His torso was tilted to the right and his arms were bowed out with his hands by his head. "I'm on call any time," I replied with a smile. We cuddled for a while before getting up, when he started picking his nose and it was my turn to call him the "mood ruiner."
Around 11am I was bored and decided to take a nap (wtf) and was awoken by him peering at me from about two inches away from my face. He crawled on top of me and we mingled our limbs and were comfortable, snuggling more. He made fun of me for sleeping and told me to go back to sleep, but I was refreshed. Instead I clung to him and refused to let him go. He pushed and pulled and I tried my damndest to stay hooked on him, haha! I did pretty well, but eventually he wriggled free, and I remained on the bed, a mess. He kissed my feet and said that I made him so happy. He likes it when I do silly things with him ;]
I moved down the bed to pet him and my tits were pushed up in a most satisfying way. I was wearing a dark blue, lacy, spaghetti-strapped shirt that I typically couple with a tube bra, because my boobs just are too big for it. But in the lazy setting I was without, and it didn't take Ninja long to grab at them and moan his appreciation. Haha. Yes. He was snagged.
He bent down and took my breast in his mouth, nipping and sucking and really doing nice things. I think I was talking to him about something... about hanging wet clothes up instead of flopping them on the bed to stay wet. Obviously it wasn't all that important, because I don't remember it...
I was moaning and writhing and at some point he tore at my pants, removing mine before his. The door was open, he nudged it closed with a whap of his hand I think. I didn't care that Architect Roommate might hear - in hindsight, I'm sorry.
For a good twenty minutes I was rolled over on my stomach while he did all sorts of nice angles and I could feel his balls on my flesh. I love that. We crept our way across the bed, entwining our fingers and somewhere I lost my damned hair tie.
When he finished, he was sitting up on my thighs and spreading my ass cheeks with his hands.
He collapsed down on me and we cuddled some more. I had cum all over my legs and was just so darn happy! Best morning ever.
He said his penis needed a time-out, it was chafed or something tragic... I gave him puppy eyes and he said maybe later...!
He pulled me on top of him... and then I remembered that I had my DivaCup still in. "MOON RUINER" he called after me as I went to the bathroom to remove it. I came back and he'd covered himself in pillows and blankets, so I pulled them off his body and put my lips on his cock. A few minutes of that and I crept up his body and he slid into me...
"Thank you for fucking me," he said to me afterwards, sprawled out over our pillows. The window is right at the head of our bed, and it brought out the redness in his hair and whiskers, and the planed of his face. His torso was tilted to the right and his arms were bowed out with his hands by his head. "I'm on call any time," I replied with a smile. We cuddled for a while before getting up, when he started picking his nose and it was my turn to call him the "mood ruiner."
Around 11am I was bored and decided to take a nap (wtf) and was awoken by him peering at me from about two inches away from my face. He crawled on top of me and we mingled our limbs and were comfortable, snuggling more. He made fun of me for sleeping and told me to go back to sleep, but I was refreshed. Instead I clung to him and refused to let him go. He pushed and pulled and I tried my damndest to stay hooked on him, haha! I did pretty well, but eventually he wriggled free, and I remained on the bed, a mess. He kissed my feet and said that I made him so happy. He likes it when I do silly things with him ;]
I moved down the bed to pet him and my tits were pushed up in a most satisfying way. I was wearing a dark blue, lacy, spaghetti-strapped shirt that I typically couple with a tube bra, because my boobs just are too big for it. But in the lazy setting I was without, and it didn't take Ninja long to grab at them and moan his appreciation. Haha. Yes. He was snagged.
He bent down and took my breast in his mouth, nipping and sucking and really doing nice things. I think I was talking to him about something... about hanging wet clothes up instead of flopping them on the bed to stay wet. Obviously it wasn't all that important, because I don't remember it...
I was moaning and writhing and at some point he tore at my pants, removing mine before his. The door was open, he nudged it closed with a whap of his hand I think. I didn't care that Architect Roommate might hear - in hindsight, I'm sorry.
For a good twenty minutes I was rolled over on my stomach while he did all sorts of nice angles and I could feel his balls on my flesh. I love that. We crept our way across the bed, entwining our fingers and somewhere I lost my damned hair tie.
When he finished, he was sitting up on my thighs and spreading my ass cheeks with his hands.
He collapsed down on me and we cuddled some more. I had cum all over my legs and was just so darn happy! Best morning ever.
He said his penis needed a time-out, it was chafed or something tragic... I gave him puppy eyes and he said maybe later...!
Friday, October 16, 2009
Too Hot for Words
Soooo after having one of the best orgasms ever (like lightening) I thought, "OMG I should write out the fantasy I just played out in my head, because it was so hot!"
And then I returned to earth, and realized it was a bit too weird and that it's best kept in my head.
It's been a long time since I've written out fantasies, and it's more of a shoot-myself-in-the-foot sort of thing. I'll keep on with the inhibiting embarassment and let my mind's creativity out some other way.
Damn.
And then I returned to earth, and realized it was a bit too weird and that it's best kept in my head.
It's been a long time since I've written out fantasies, and it's more of a shoot-myself-in-the-foot sort of thing. I'll keep on with the inhibiting embarassment and let my mind's creativity out some other way.
Damn.
Dry Spell?
Man. I'm getting over my period and taking on a cold. I haven't played with myself in days. Days! Not for lack of trying, but I have been falling asleep on myself or had bad timing.
I think my sex drive is becoming more accomodating. I don't get quite so cranky if I've been untouched for a few days. In some ways this is good; in others, not so good. Though I recall early September when Ninja and I hadn't made love in over a week, and I was laying in bed beside him analyzing if I really wanted sex at that moment. Did I? No, no I didn't. Whew. Just kidding -- he rolled over to me with intent and I was right on it straight away.
So maybe I'm just getting better at not thinking about it so much.
But, masturbating is a different story. I have to take care of myself. I'm going to finish this glass of OJ and fit a session in before work.
I think my sex drive is becoming more accomodating. I don't get quite so cranky if I've been untouched for a few days. In some ways this is good; in others, not so good. Though I recall early September when Ninja and I hadn't made love in over a week, and I was laying in bed beside him analyzing if I really wanted sex at that moment. Did I? No, no I didn't. Whew. Just kidding -- he rolled over to me with intent and I was right on it straight away.
So maybe I'm just getting better at not thinking about it so much.
But, masturbating is a different story. I have to take care of myself. I'm going to finish this glass of OJ and fit a session in before work.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Mental Road Block - Anal
Ninja and I had another go at anal some time ago.
It failed.
He was on top, the covers over the both of us, my legs wrapped up all around him, and I was enjoying the after-shower lovemaking. He pressed his fingers against my asshole, and asked me if I wanted to try again. After a quick deep breath, I said okay and closed my eyes, relaxing.. relaxing...
It hurt a little, but not terribly. So I don't know why, but I just basically burst into tears and tensed up like a brick. I don't even know how much of him I took in, but I couldn't let him continue.
This bothers me immensely, and it just makes me even more nervous all around. Why do I have some mental road block? It turns me on, and I want to do it. I've fantasized about it. I've tried to prepare myself. I'm pretty sure it will be really awesome. I want to do it for myself, and I want to give Ninja what he desires. All I have are wants and reasons, but no results! I just screw it up.
Ninja, then, withdrew himself and worked some fancy magic to make me forget the fear, and we continued on with our lovemaking 'til... well... 'til it had to end.
I just want it to work! I know it won't hurt, I know we're prepared... I don't understand it.
But I'll be starting my period soon, so we may have another go at it while my vagina is out of commission. Also, Architect is out for the weekend, so maybe we can have a bit more experimental fun!
It failed.
He was on top, the covers over the both of us, my legs wrapped up all around him, and I was enjoying the after-shower lovemaking. He pressed his fingers against my asshole, and asked me if I wanted to try again. After a quick deep breath, I said okay and closed my eyes, relaxing.. relaxing...
It hurt a little, but not terribly. So I don't know why, but I just basically burst into tears and tensed up like a brick. I don't even know how much of him I took in, but I couldn't let him continue.
This bothers me immensely, and it just makes me even more nervous all around. Why do I have some mental road block? It turns me on, and I want to do it. I've fantasized about it. I've tried to prepare myself. I'm pretty sure it will be really awesome. I want to do it for myself, and I want to give Ninja what he desires. All I have are wants and reasons, but no results! I just screw it up.
Ninja, then, withdrew himself and worked some fancy magic to make me forget the fear, and we continued on with our lovemaking 'til... well... 'til it had to end.
I just want it to work! I know it won't hurt, I know we're prepared... I don't understand it.
But I'll be starting my period soon, so we may have another go at it while my vagina is out of commission. Also, Architect is out for the weekend, so maybe we can have a bit more experimental fun!
Monday, October 5, 2009
Less is More
I don't know why, but tonight I wish I could walk around in lingerie and do my daily activities. I'm working on homework, browsing for a snack, watching the boys throw themselves around in delight while watching football. Maybe I'm missing the ability to be in the nude all the time like I used to with Ninja. That's probably it.
I'm feeling good lately, I look good. I think I'm still losing weight, or at least I'm adjusting happily to my thinner self. Ninja seems happy - he's complimented me much more than usual. It makes me feel good all around...
My friend London is trying to convince me to buy some sexy bedroom clothes. She has quite the collection, her ex was a fan. Unfortunately, despite my confidence growing, I still think I look like crap in clothes that show leg. Boobs, I got those down. My tits are my best asset. But my ass, no. Legs, no. Ninja likes big ol' thighs and my caboose, but I just can't like what I see. Hey, I've tried. It just looks way better on models than myself.
I do have really good boobs, though. I will always credit myself with that!
I'm feeling good lately, I look good. I think I'm still losing weight, or at least I'm adjusting happily to my thinner self. Ninja seems happy - he's complimented me much more than usual. It makes me feel good all around...
My friend London is trying to convince me to buy some sexy bedroom clothes. She has quite the collection, her ex was a fan. Unfortunately, despite my confidence growing, I still think I look like crap in clothes that show leg. Boobs, I got those down. My tits are my best asset. But my ass, no. Legs, no. Ninja likes big ol' thighs and my caboose, but I just can't like what I see. Hey, I've tried. It just looks way better on models than myself.
I do have really good boobs, though. I will always credit myself with that!
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Sunday, September 13, 2009
I Wish
I remember when Ninja and I first got together, I had mentioned that I could orgasm within minutes. This was after apparently being the first, or one of the first, girls to admit that they masturbate. He laughed and had said that his job would be easy, then.
Easy? Not so much.
One of the last times we made love I burst into tears because I realized I wanted to cum so badly.
Easy? Not so much.
One of the last times we made love I burst into tears because I realized I wanted to cum so badly.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Home Sweet Home
So Ninja and I are officially moved into our new apartment, with Architect in the second bedroom and buzzing about what he wants to make. Things have been hectic but pleasant; we have no furniture and Ninja has his boxes and clothes strewn about, but our office is fabulous and the bedroom is lovely. We didn't have internet for a few days, and I've been busy with unpacking and cleaning up after these damn boys.
I finally gave Ninja his Christmas present. Oh dear, 9 months late! No, it's actually from the Christmas befor - our first Christmas. When I had come back from college (this was while he was still in the Midwest where we met, before he moved here to New England) for Christmas, we'd actually broken up for a few days. I was hesitant to gift it to him after we got back together, and anyway I only was there for a short while. I didn't want to jinx things.
By the next Christmas, last Christmas, he was here in New England with me, but I had left the gift in the Midwest and my mother wouldn't mail it to me, and I didn't want to risk taking it on the plane while I was there visiting for the holidays.
But when my father drove out with all my things to help us move in, I made sure to request that he bring it.
Ninja isn't much of a person for gifts so he didn't mind the lateness; in fact, I could guess that he thought it would be a lame present. But no, part of the reason I was so hesitant to give it ws because I was proud of it. It was thoughtful, it was meaningful, it meant a lot to me and was perfect.
So I sat him down on the bed and handed him the big square that it was, still wrapped in the purple wrapping paper. He tore open a corner, and saw part of it. It was a drawing, a framed high-quality print. "[Artist's Name]?!" he exclaimed!
Oh yes. I grinned and he tore the rest off. It was a drawing of Venus, one of her forms, from his most favourite artist. He looked up at me and I saw genuine appreciation. I patted myself on my back.
I finally gave Ninja his Christmas present. Oh dear, 9 months late! No, it's actually from the Christmas befor - our first Christmas. When I had come back from college (this was while he was still in the Midwest where we met, before he moved here to New England) for Christmas, we'd actually broken up for a few days. I was hesitant to gift it to him after we got back together, and anyway I only was there for a short while. I didn't want to jinx things.
By the next Christmas, last Christmas, he was here in New England with me, but I had left the gift in the Midwest and my mother wouldn't mail it to me, and I didn't want to risk taking it on the plane while I was there visiting for the holidays.
But when my father drove out with all my things to help us move in, I made sure to request that he bring it.
Ninja isn't much of a person for gifts so he didn't mind the lateness; in fact, I could guess that he thought it would be a lame present. But no, part of the reason I was so hesitant to give it ws because I was proud of it. It was thoughtful, it was meaningful, it meant a lot to me and was perfect.
So I sat him down on the bed and handed him the big square that it was, still wrapped in the purple wrapping paper. He tore open a corner, and saw part of it. It was a drawing, a framed high-quality print. "[Artist's Name]?!" he exclaimed!
Oh yes. I grinned and he tore the rest off. It was a drawing of Venus, one of her forms, from his most favourite artist. He looked up at me and I saw genuine appreciation. I patted myself on my back.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Not Having a Sexless Marriage
So another chapter of our lives soon begins. Tomorrow and/or Tuesday, Ninja and I are moving into our new apartment. We're living with an architect student, he's cool and all. I'm excited. I can't stand the apartment I am in right now - Bitch Roommate has banned us from using the stove and oven by removing the components because Messy Roommate2 screwed up the kitchen after I forgot to put back the components... you see, originally I was allowed to use it, with permission. Messy Roommate2 could not. It's a big long mess of a story, but mostly a thorn in my side. If I bid adieu to Bitch Roommate, it would only be through an act of numb thoughtfulness.
I'm getting a taste of a more adult life, working more at my job and being only part-time in college this year. Ninja is doing the same, and he's been working at his new job (hardware store, he looks good in his t-shirt haha) for a few weeks. I'm not sure how much I like it. He's not had so many hours at a job since we've been together (except when we were LD) so I barely see him, then he gets home tired and sweaty, we watch a movie with dinner, and he goes to bed.
Aside from some post-Birthday Sex (on the 24th I turned 22!) we haven't had any naked time. He's tired, it's been hot, so on and so forth. I miss sex. I masturbate too much. I didn't even get to packing 'til after noon today because... well, I didn't masturbate the WHOLE morning for crying out loud, but there was a good half hour I should have been doing something more productive.
He's sleeping now, wrapped up all cute in my big white quilt. This will hopefully be my last night here in this apartment... I hope so. I will go cuddle with him soon and snuggle through 'til the early morning when he must leave again to work. After the stress from this horrible place and my horrible roommates is gone, I think we'll get back to making babies, without making babies.
I'm getting a taste of a more adult life, working more at my job and being only part-time in college this year. Ninja is doing the same, and he's been working at his new job (hardware store, he looks good in his t-shirt haha) for a few weeks. I'm not sure how much I like it. He's not had so many hours at a job since we've been together (except when we were LD) so I barely see him, then he gets home tired and sweaty, we watch a movie with dinner, and he goes to bed.
Aside from some post-Birthday Sex (on the 24th I turned 22!) we haven't had any naked time. He's tired, it's been hot, so on and so forth. I miss sex. I masturbate too much. I didn't even get to packing 'til after noon today because... well, I didn't masturbate the WHOLE morning for crying out loud, but there was a good half hour I should have been doing something more productive.
He's sleeping now, wrapped up all cute in my big white quilt. This will hopefully be my last night here in this apartment... I hope so. I will go cuddle with him soon and snuggle through 'til the early morning when he must leave again to work. After the stress from this horrible place and my horrible roommates is gone, I think we'll get back to making babies, without making babies.
Writing is...
I had a dream that one of my posts here got published in a totally non-erotic publication. It wasn't an actual entry I've posted here, but it was some short story of some sexual encounter. I was so excited to read it, but disappointed that I couldn't take credit for it because it was under anonymity. What luck, right?
I've thought occasionally that my writing was decent. Mostly what I have going for me is that I enjoy it, and that's a big help I'm sure. I never did too well in most writing classes (except free-writing) but I've always kept journals and been obsessed with recording things. Of course lately I've fallen off the wagon a bit in keeping up with this blog and my other journal, but life happens.
In elementary school, 4th grade I think, I won an award for a story I wrote and illustrated. I went to a convention sort of thing with my mom and it was all about young writers and getting stickers and props for such a good job. The story was about a killer whale and eating cereal; I'm not sure what was so grand about it! But, hey. We got to write in blank hardcover books and it was always my favourite thing...
In middle school I wrote two drafts of a story on dragons. It took up two 3-subject notebooks (with illustrations) but I never finished it and never was satisfied...
But I'd never become a professional writer. A lot of bloggers wish to, but writing is never something I would feel comfortable making money at. Funny, because I am going into a creative field.
Anyway, it would be pretty cool if I greased this thing up and did more with the blog. Some day, in my free time...
I've thought occasionally that my writing was decent. Mostly what I have going for me is that I enjoy it, and that's a big help I'm sure. I never did too well in most writing classes (except free-writing) but I've always kept journals and been obsessed with recording things. Of course lately I've fallen off the wagon a bit in keeping up with this blog and my other journal, but life happens.
In elementary school, 4th grade I think, I won an award for a story I wrote and illustrated. I went to a convention sort of thing with my mom and it was all about young writers and getting stickers and props for such a good job. The story was about a killer whale and eating cereal; I'm not sure what was so grand about it! But, hey. We got to write in blank hardcover books and it was always my favourite thing...
In middle school I wrote two drafts of a story on dragons. It took up two 3-subject notebooks (with illustrations) but I never finished it and never was satisfied...
But I'd never become a professional writer. A lot of bloggers wish to, but writing is never something I would feel comfortable making money at. Funny, because I am going into a creative field.
Anyway, it would be pretty cool if I greased this thing up and did more with the blog. Some day, in my free time...
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
IOU
We met at the apartment, and he was to leave soon again for a friend's for the night. He went to say goodbye, but came over to me on the bed and layed on top of me instead. A big sigh from the both of us - it was so comfortable despite the trecherous heat and humidity.
A minute passed, and he got up. His hands went to the bottons on my shorts. I bit my lip, "I'm bleeding..." He stops, obviously disappointed. Me, too. Damn it.
Suddenly, he leans over and bites my nipple, taking the jewelry between his teeth. It sends tremors through me just as he lets go. And then he goes and pulls down my tube top, taking my whole breast in his mouth, sucking the very life out of me, I go blind and writhe on the bed until he unlatches, a sly grin on his face. I straighten myself, hair all in my face, breathless, hot.
"As soon as this erection goes away, I'll see you tomorrow!" he chirps cheerfully. I give his bonor and IOU and hope he was serious about me giving him a blowjob tomorrow...
In the meantime I've been horny as hell and have made this lonesome evening one of playing with myself and orgasms.
A minute passed, and he got up. His hands went to the bottons on my shorts. I bit my lip, "I'm bleeding..." He stops, obviously disappointed. Me, too. Damn it.
Suddenly, he leans over and bites my nipple, taking the jewelry between his teeth. It sends tremors through me just as he lets go. And then he goes and pulls down my tube top, taking my whole breast in his mouth, sucking the very life out of me, I go blind and writhe on the bed until he unlatches, a sly grin on his face. I straighten myself, hair all in my face, breathless, hot.
"As soon as this erection goes away, I'll see you tomorrow!" he chirps cheerfully. I give his bonor and IOU and hope he was serious about me giving him a blowjob tomorrow...
In the meantime I've been horny as hell and have made this lonesome evening one of playing with myself and orgasms.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
A Great Start to the Day
Last night we went out on a date to see The Ugly Truth. It was so hilarious I might have wet myself. I haven't laughed like that from a movie in ages. It's kind of hot and humbling, so I urge you to go see it.
This morning I woke up around 8am or so, snuggled up to Ninja. We dozed in bed together, always like magnets, 'til we rose ourselves and went on with our morning. From 11-1pm we took another nap, having had a long week. It's one of those things that makes me love him all the more. He didn't have to nap with me, but I crawled into bed and layed there for a while when I felt him lift the covers and ask me in that cute tone if he could join me. Duh!
Later on, in the shower, he moved out of the way and behind me so I could rinse my hair... so I thought, 'til his hands came creeping down my stomach to play with my clit. He switched between rubbing me and pushing his cock inside me, and something about it was different this time. His technique was different, better, my whole body throbbed and I felt the distant pulsing of a forthcoming orgasm...
My back arched and he leaned his head above to kiss me, thanks to his godly height. He held my hair in his hands, leaving my clit alone, and looked at me while he pumped. It was hot.
He turned me around and leaned heavily on the opposite side of the shower stall, throwing my foot on his shoulder, entering me again and working his magic. All I could do was touch his hipbones while he thrust forward and moan. It is the greatest sight to behold.
In the end surprisingly neither of us got orgasms, we got out, dried off, and went about our day...
This morning I woke up around 8am or so, snuggled up to Ninja. We dozed in bed together, always like magnets, 'til we rose ourselves and went on with our morning. From 11-1pm we took another nap, having had a long week. It's one of those things that makes me love him all the more. He didn't have to nap with me, but I crawled into bed and layed there for a while when I felt him lift the covers and ask me in that cute tone if he could join me. Duh!
Later on, in the shower, he moved out of the way and behind me so I could rinse my hair... so I thought, 'til his hands came creeping down my stomach to play with my clit. He switched between rubbing me and pushing his cock inside me, and something about it was different this time. His technique was different, better, my whole body throbbed and I felt the distant pulsing of a forthcoming orgasm...
My back arched and he leaned his head above to kiss me, thanks to his godly height. He held my hair in his hands, leaving my clit alone, and looked at me while he pumped. It was hot.
He turned me around and leaned heavily on the opposite side of the shower stall, throwing my foot on his shoulder, entering me again and working his magic. All I could do was touch his hipbones while he thrust forward and moan. It is the greatest sight to behold.
In the end surprisingly neither of us got orgasms, we got out, dried off, and went about our day...
Monday, August 3, 2009
Quicky in the Storage Room
Thursday and Friday of this week Ninja helped me at my workplace, moving storage from the old storage room to the new one. The old one is across the street from the new shop, with a deadbolt lock and paper covering the windows. We were alone for a time, rearranging and deciding what things to take next.
He looked at me. "You know, I have the key to this place. [Manager and Boss] are gone. We could have a quicky."
dies My dream come true! But! Fuck! I was too nervous about the thought of getting caught. [Manager and Boss] could come in at any time, knock on the door, get angry... I wanted to, so very much wanted to. But we didn't.
I should have done it anyway, damn it. I told him he should come up to visit me some time when I'm working alone, wink wink. Not sure if he will.
We never had sex in the boxing gym, either...
He looked at me. "You know, I have the key to this place. [Manager and Boss] are gone. We could have a quicky."
dies My dream come true! But! Fuck! I was too nervous about the thought of getting caught. [Manager and Boss] could come in at any time, knock on the door, get angry... I wanted to, so very much wanted to. But we didn't.
I should have done it anyway, damn it. I told him he should come up to visit me some time when I'm working alone, wink wink. Not sure if he will.
We never had sex in the boxing gym, either...
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Considering Genital Piercings
In light of my previous post (also posted this evening, read it first!), I have thought further searching for solutions. While the success of an orgasm relies mostly on chilling the fuck out, it is a scientific fact that it is naturally easier for a woman to reach orgasm through exterior stimulation rather than interior.
My nipple piercings are my prized possessions. They make me feel beautiful, like a goddess. They are a vehicle for pleasure and admiration, and that little bit of naughtiness when the jewelry pokes through my shirt. Ninja tweaks and nibbles to his and my delight, and getting them done was the best thing I've ever done for myself. 20th birthday present, the best!
6 months after my nipples got bejeweled, I got my nostril pierced. 6 months after that, the cravings came back. But I have resisted. What could I get? No facial piercings, no lobe piercings, microdermals aren't smart for boxing or dangerous physical activities. So I stopped there.
But then, this morning, I got a spark in my mind. Genital piercings. I've had them faintly pass through my mind before, but I pushed them aside. Not as nonsense, or something too extreme, but something I didn't forsee myself having. I asked Ninja, and he said he didn't mind them.
So off to BMEzine I went researching, and I clued him in on the two I'd settled on: vertical clit hood, and a triangle. Without the professional opinion of a piercer I can't say for sure, but I'm quite positive I have enough flesh to accomodate either (I did pass the q-tip test). I scrutinized and discussed it with him, and I may very well go with it. The trouble is finding a qualified piercer, and parting with the money. I'm not all too familiar with piercers in this area, not being from around here, and I am a poor college student.
Hopefully you know this by now, but actual clit piercings are super rare. Piercing the organ itself sounds like death to me, but you also must have a clitoris thick enough to accomodate the jewelry. The most common female genital piercing is the vertical clit hood, which consists of a barbell or a circular ring being pierced through the flap of skin the clitoris sits beneath (aka "hood"). It must be close enough to the meeting of the hood and the clit itself for maximum pleasure. The presence of the jewelry predictably enhances contact during intercourse or fun-time. It's a quick healer at just a few weeks, and getting in the way would be at a minimum due to the vertical position. It's common, cute, and sounds good to me.
A little more enticing, however, is the triangle. It is, according to my sources, the second most "extreme" female genital piercing, next to the actual clitoral piercing of course. It's not enticing to me because of the extreme-ness of it (in fact that causes me to have reserves) but the possibility of unearthly pleasure. You see, with the triangle, the jewelry is placed beneath the clitoris. That is a lot of flesh, much more than with the vertical clit hood. But the unique placement lends itself to some awesome feelings I am sure, allowing for stimulation from behind (the jewelry) and in front (fingers, tongue, etc.). My method for masturbating involves pressing my clit against my pubic bone, so I can only imagine what a metal bar could add. It is, though, less aesthetically appealing to me. And the possibility of the piercer hitting my clit instead freaks me out.
So here I am considering a genital piercing, both for easthetic and pleasure purposes. And also just for the fun of it.
We'll see, we'll see.
My nipple piercings are my prized possessions. They make me feel beautiful, like a goddess. They are a vehicle for pleasure and admiration, and that little bit of naughtiness when the jewelry pokes through my shirt. Ninja tweaks and nibbles to his and my delight, and getting them done was the best thing I've ever done for myself. 20th birthday present, the best!
6 months after my nipples got bejeweled, I got my nostril pierced. 6 months after that, the cravings came back. But I have resisted. What could I get? No facial piercings, no lobe piercings, microdermals aren't smart for boxing or dangerous physical activities. So I stopped there.
But then, this morning, I got a spark in my mind. Genital piercings. I've had them faintly pass through my mind before, but I pushed them aside. Not as nonsense, or something too extreme, but something I didn't forsee myself having. I asked Ninja, and he said he didn't mind them.
So off to BMEzine I went researching, and I clued him in on the two I'd settled on: vertical clit hood, and a triangle. Without the professional opinion of a piercer I can't say for sure, but I'm quite positive I have enough flesh to accomodate either (I did pass the q-tip test). I scrutinized and discussed it with him, and I may very well go with it. The trouble is finding a qualified piercer, and parting with the money. I'm not all too familiar with piercers in this area, not being from around here, and I am a poor college student.
Hopefully you know this by now, but actual clit piercings are super rare. Piercing the organ itself sounds like death to me, but you also must have a clitoris thick enough to accomodate the jewelry. The most common female genital piercing is the vertical clit hood, which consists of a barbell or a circular ring being pierced through the flap of skin the clitoris sits beneath (aka "hood"). It must be close enough to the meeting of the hood and the clit itself for maximum pleasure. The presence of the jewelry predictably enhances contact during intercourse or fun-time. It's a quick healer at just a few weeks, and getting in the way would be at a minimum due to the vertical position. It's common, cute, and sounds good to me.
A little more enticing, however, is the triangle. It is, according to my sources, the second most "extreme" female genital piercing, next to the actual clitoral piercing of course. It's not enticing to me because of the extreme-ness of it (in fact that causes me to have reserves) but the possibility of unearthly pleasure. You see, with the triangle, the jewelry is placed beneath the clitoris. That is a lot of flesh, much more than with the vertical clit hood. But the unique placement lends itself to some awesome feelings I am sure, allowing for stimulation from behind (the jewelry) and in front (fingers, tongue, etc.). My method for masturbating involves pressing my clit against my pubic bone, so I can only imagine what a metal bar could add. It is, though, less aesthetically appealing to me. And the possibility of the piercer hitting my clit instead freaks me out.
So here I am considering a genital piercing, both for easthetic and pleasure purposes. And also just for the fun of it.
We'll see, we'll see.
My Downfall
I am, and have always been, an insecure person. Unsure of myself, more willing to hold back than give out, quick to assume the worst and disbelieving of the best. I can't say it has stemmed from some personal incident, or my upbringing. I wasn't picked on as a child, my parents always told me to do my best and that was all they wanted. Nothing sticks out to me that could have pushed me to become this way.
But I live my life afraid of embarrassment, shame, and vulnerability. I'm not sure now Ninja did it, but he has worked to get me out of my shell. Regardless, the level to which I inhibit myself, well, it is my downfall. In the two and a half years we have been together, I have but a handful of times peed with him around - on the other hand, I have held his penis in my very hands while he did his business. He'll belt out all the songs he knows in his cute, breaking untrained voice, while through all my years of choral singing, I'm still reluctant to sing on my own, despite his persistent begging.
For the most part, Ninja is all-accommodating to me and my wishes. My problem is, I bet you can guess, that I don't voice them. I leave little twisted signals and wish that he could hear my thoughts. The trippy thing is that sometimes I swear he can, and up 'til now, he's put up with my silliness and continues to gently coax me into communicating. I think that part of what had me fall in love with him was his confidence and calm curiosity. Time and time again, from the very beginning, if something was exploding in my thoughts, and he would ask me what was wrong, I would say "Nothing." But he knew better, and still does, and though we play that game far less often than we used to, he still has to take my head into his hands and have me look at him and not lie when something is on my mind.
This, of course, floods into our sex life. Why can't I orgasm? I'm not clear on all the answers, but I know deep down that it is because I am embarassed. My face looks weird, my body looks weird, it would take too long. I have masturbated to orgasm twice in his presence, and the last time was over a year ago, and I was such a bundle of nerves that it took ages and I've not done it since, having shamed myself. I've masturbated on video for him a handful of times, while we were long-distance, and however permanent it is, I got a small amount of relief in the fact that I could preview it and make sure I didn't look like an alien.
I know it bothers Ninja. It bothers me too. And that just makes it worse. I can't ask him to go down on me, I can't ask him to finger me, I can't ask because I have collected in my memory clips of instances when he's laughed at me harmlessly, or made an innocent comment, and in twisting them to negativity it trumps the good and pleasure and will he has shown to make me happy.
I just can't let go and relax, give myself fully into him. I'm worried about my breath, my body, my expressions, the time. I cherish making love so much, and I think endlessly of sex with him. But despite all that, I'm still too fucking embarrassed to give both of us the satisfaction of my orgasm.
I know these things, and I analyse them often. But as for really getting over it, I'm still not in the right direction. But he is all the more my soulmate for putting up with it.
But I live my life afraid of embarrassment, shame, and vulnerability. I'm not sure now Ninja did it, but he has worked to get me out of my shell. Regardless, the level to which I inhibit myself, well, it is my downfall. In the two and a half years we have been together, I have but a handful of times peed with him around - on the other hand, I have held his penis in my very hands while he did his business. He'll belt out all the songs he knows in his cute, breaking untrained voice, while through all my years of choral singing, I'm still reluctant to sing on my own, despite his persistent begging.
For the most part, Ninja is all-accommodating to me and my wishes. My problem is, I bet you can guess, that I don't voice them. I leave little twisted signals and wish that he could hear my thoughts. The trippy thing is that sometimes I swear he can, and up 'til now, he's put up with my silliness and continues to gently coax me into communicating. I think that part of what had me fall in love with him was his confidence and calm curiosity. Time and time again, from the very beginning, if something was exploding in my thoughts, and he would ask me what was wrong, I would say "Nothing." But he knew better, and still does, and though we play that game far less often than we used to, he still has to take my head into his hands and have me look at him and not lie when something is on my mind.
This, of course, floods into our sex life. Why can't I orgasm? I'm not clear on all the answers, but I know deep down that it is because I am embarassed. My face looks weird, my body looks weird, it would take too long. I have masturbated to orgasm twice in his presence, and the last time was over a year ago, and I was such a bundle of nerves that it took ages and I've not done it since, having shamed myself. I've masturbated on video for him a handful of times, while we were long-distance, and however permanent it is, I got a small amount of relief in the fact that I could preview it and make sure I didn't look like an alien.
I know it bothers Ninja. It bothers me too. And that just makes it worse. I can't ask him to go down on me, I can't ask him to finger me, I can't ask because I have collected in my memory clips of instances when he's laughed at me harmlessly, or made an innocent comment, and in twisting them to negativity it trumps the good and pleasure and will he has shown to make me happy.
I just can't let go and relax, give myself fully into him. I'm worried about my breath, my body, my expressions, the time. I cherish making love so much, and I think endlessly of sex with him. But despite all that, I'm still too fucking embarrassed to give both of us the satisfaction of my orgasm.
I know these things, and I analyse them often. But as for really getting over it, I'm still not in the right direction. But he is all the more my soulmate for putting up with it.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Unfavorable Contact
Some weeks ago, Ninja closed his door on his visiting friend and turned back to me. We progressed to the bed, and I was thrilled by the need to be quiet, lest it be blatantly obvious what we were doing behind the closed door.
My legs were on his shoulders and his thrusting was divine. I rested my hand on his cheek, feeling his hair and his ears and his cheekbones and jawline, and watching his eyes close ever so slightly with the motions. I looked down at his hips, and that sexy triangle between his hip bones. The light from the window to the right of us blinks in and out as he moves himself against me. The jolt that shoots through me with each SMACK. Pure hotness. His hands ran down my body, behind me, and between my legs, between my ass cheeks. I was gone and relaxed enough that he rubbed me, stimulating me, and pushed one of his fingers inside my ass. I felt a mixture of discomfort and pleasure, but it mixed in with the feeling of his cock inside me and I was A-OK. I was learning to like it. I want to, I want more. He quivered, he came and rested on top of me.
Fast forward to yesterday morning, when we are showering together in the tiny stand-up stall. Or rather, the moment where my legs are spread, one on the floor and one on the wall opposite me at my head's height. His knees are bent and he is coming up at me with such force that I feel his balls slap my inner thigh and buttocks - I can barely stand, that sensation drives me crazy. He tires and turns me around, slipping inside me again while I'm on my tippy toes to make things easier for him. Or try to, anyway. He's like a foot taller than me. Irrelevant that is, however, while he goes again between my legs, pressing against my anus with his finger. Calm, calm, calm down... he continues, slipping inside again with one of his fingers. A few moments and he withdraws, but I think nothing of it while we make love in the water. He tires and neither of us reach orgasm, it being the second time that morning we'd done so.
Later on, he makes a song about playing with my butt while he primps himself in the bathroom. I roll my eyes; he's a very musical fellow and makes songs about many things.
Until... he sings about touching my poop. I dropped my head and could have died in shame, but instead I flopped myself down on his bed. He called me back, I groaned. So embarassed. Expected, probable even, but damn it. Embarassing. He calls me still, telling me sternly to come back. I abide, and he picks my head up and makes me look at him, telling me not to be embarassed.
I'm glad his reaction was understanding and favorable... it would be pretty lame to be anything otherwise... but still. Unfavorable contact is the source of my reserve, and I haven't even experienced his cock before it rears its ugly, poopy head.
My legs were on his shoulders and his thrusting was divine. I rested my hand on his cheek, feeling his hair and his ears and his cheekbones and jawline, and watching his eyes close ever so slightly with the motions. I looked down at his hips, and that sexy triangle between his hip bones. The light from the window to the right of us blinks in and out as he moves himself against me. The jolt that shoots through me with each SMACK. Pure hotness. His hands ran down my body, behind me, and between my legs, between my ass cheeks. I was gone and relaxed enough that he rubbed me, stimulating me, and pushed one of his fingers inside my ass. I felt a mixture of discomfort and pleasure, but it mixed in with the feeling of his cock inside me and I was A-OK. I was learning to like it. I want to, I want more. He quivered, he came and rested on top of me.
Fast forward to yesterday morning, when we are showering together in the tiny stand-up stall. Or rather, the moment where my legs are spread, one on the floor and one on the wall opposite me at my head's height. His knees are bent and he is coming up at me with such force that I feel his balls slap my inner thigh and buttocks - I can barely stand, that sensation drives me crazy. He tires and turns me around, slipping inside me again while I'm on my tippy toes to make things easier for him. Or try to, anyway. He's like a foot taller than me. Irrelevant that is, however, while he goes again between my legs, pressing against my anus with his finger. Calm, calm, calm down... he continues, slipping inside again with one of his fingers. A few moments and he withdraws, but I think nothing of it while we make love in the water. He tires and neither of us reach orgasm, it being the second time that morning we'd done so.
Later on, he makes a song about playing with my butt while he primps himself in the bathroom. I roll my eyes; he's a very musical fellow and makes songs about many things.
Until... he sings about touching my poop. I dropped my head and could have died in shame, but instead I flopped myself down on his bed. He called me back, I groaned. So embarassed. Expected, probable even, but damn it. Embarassing. He calls me still, telling me sternly to come back. I abide, and he picks my head up and makes me look at him, telling me not to be embarassed.
I'm glad his reaction was understanding and favorable... it would be pretty lame to be anything otherwise... but still. Unfavorable contact is the source of my reserve, and I haven't even experienced his cock before it rears its ugly, poopy head.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Boxing to Parkour
I feel ready to take on the WORLD today.
I don't know why, particularly. But in lieu of being unable to box (after Ninja's and my subscriptions run out) I have decided to move on to parkour or freerunning or whatever subbranch I can absorb. Ninja has just a natural talent for bouncing around like a monkey, whereas I do not. He's wanted to get into it for ages, but there aren't any groups nearby. But like I said, that natural talent takes him far enough. I am a foot shorter than him, weaker, scared-ier, and less experienced. But I want to try it, see what I'm capable of. The psychological part of it is all about overcoming whatever obstacles - so let's go!
I'm very happy to have begun working out and appreciating my body and its powers. A year of boxing has brought me SO MUCH joy. I don't want to give it up, and if I/we have the opportunity, I'd love to invest in a bag or two to keep up with my progress. It makes me feel sexy, it makes me feel capable, it makes me feel so good. While my roommates are sitting on the couch getting drunk or high in front of the TV, I walk in drenched in sweat and feeling like I'm on clouds. Not to mention, Ninja doesn't look too bad with his shirt stuck to him and his hair all a mess, lean muscles shining in all their glory...
Ninja and I haven't gone boxing in quite a long time, to be sadly honest. Nearly a month. Myself, I'm discouraged by that particular gym's practice and the inevitability of my contract's end. And also the fact that the cool people I worked out with have stopped going, and the trainers all have sticks up their asses.
Anyway, things have been different. Going and working out together, doing something in terms of an extra-curricular committment, is really good for us. Good for anyone, I'm sure. It shakes things up, presents obstacles and routes for achievement and lets us support each other. Lately we've been stuck inside, less than able to go out because of a lack of funding. We do have much to enjoy of each other regardless, but I really miss going out and sharing this different sort of passion.
So yesterday I decided I'd like to try it. I need to start running, and weight train. I've been previously afraid of jumping up on little islands on the streets when Ninja has coaxed me. But I was able to, every time. It filled me with a rush and surprise. I wouldn't mind feeling that a bit more often.
Last night I was on the back porch, watching the sun go down. I turned around and saw my silhouette, and damn I look good. My hair looks great, tossed in the wind. My arms have shape. My ass is, well, a prominent but proud feature, well-balanced by my tits of equal proportion.
I woke up this morning and took a long shower, cleaning every inch of me. I shaved my legs and even my ass-crack, trimmed up the bush. Ninja cancelled plans with some other people to come run around with me instead, before I go off to my home town to visit my family for a week.
Life is good.
I don't know why, particularly. But in lieu of being unable to box (after Ninja's and my subscriptions run out) I have decided to move on to parkour or freerunning or whatever subbranch I can absorb. Ninja has just a natural talent for bouncing around like a monkey, whereas I do not. He's wanted to get into it for ages, but there aren't any groups nearby. But like I said, that natural talent takes him far enough. I am a foot shorter than him, weaker, scared-ier, and less experienced. But I want to try it, see what I'm capable of. The psychological part of it is all about overcoming whatever obstacles - so let's go!
I'm very happy to have begun working out and appreciating my body and its powers. A year of boxing has brought me SO MUCH joy. I don't want to give it up, and if I/we have the opportunity, I'd love to invest in a bag or two to keep up with my progress. It makes me feel sexy, it makes me feel capable, it makes me feel so good. While my roommates are sitting on the couch getting drunk or high in front of the TV, I walk in drenched in sweat and feeling like I'm on clouds. Not to mention, Ninja doesn't look too bad with his shirt stuck to him and his hair all a mess, lean muscles shining in all their glory...
Ninja and I haven't gone boxing in quite a long time, to be sadly honest. Nearly a month. Myself, I'm discouraged by that particular gym's practice and the inevitability of my contract's end. And also the fact that the cool people I worked out with have stopped going, and the trainers all have sticks up their asses.
Anyway, things have been different. Going and working out together, doing something in terms of an extra-curricular committment, is really good for us. Good for anyone, I'm sure. It shakes things up, presents obstacles and routes for achievement and lets us support each other. Lately we've been stuck inside, less than able to go out because of a lack of funding. We do have much to enjoy of each other regardless, but I really miss going out and sharing this different sort of passion.
So yesterday I decided I'd like to try it. I need to start running, and weight train. I've been previously afraid of jumping up on little islands on the streets when Ninja has coaxed me. But I was able to, every time. It filled me with a rush and surprise. I wouldn't mind feeling that a bit more often.
Last night I was on the back porch, watching the sun go down. I turned around and saw my silhouette, and damn I look good. My hair looks great, tossed in the wind. My arms have shape. My ass is, well, a prominent but proud feature, well-balanced by my tits of equal proportion.
I woke up this morning and took a long shower, cleaning every inch of me. I shaved my legs and even my ass-crack, trimmed up the bush. Ninja cancelled plans with some other people to come run around with me instead, before I go off to my home town to visit my family for a week.
Life is good.
Friday, July 3, 2009
What a Mess, Love
Hey! Oh man. Life has been crazy. Ninja's friend came and went, a trip to Texas to visit/meet Ninja's family came and went, basically June came and went.
I will recount past events in due time when I get the urge to. I've been spending a lot of time with Ninja, enjoying life. Thinking about the future. It's frightening to me, but thrilling at the same time. After all, it's what I want, huh? In a few short weeks we will be moved in together (in my room at my current apartment with my crappy roommates, then in Sept to a spacious apartment almost to ourselves) and the next big chapter of my, our lives, shall unfold.
There's just one thing. Every. Single. Time. I try to initiate some BJ or hanky-panky... Ninja gives me a dumb look and asks me, "What are you doing?" It's getting to be quite defeating. I'm only taking your clothes off, no real reason at all.
Y'all know the site FMyLife? I have a few tidbits I'm sure I could submit. Most recently along the lines of feeling bloated with joy and love, going in to kiss tenderly, and being told to put on deodorant.
I apologize for being so scatter-y, I'm all sorts of crazy in love with this man. And even when he makes me feel dumb he does it in a way that assures me he loves me just as much. Whew! What a feat.
I will recount past events in due time when I get the urge to. I've been spending a lot of time with Ninja, enjoying life. Thinking about the future. It's frightening to me, but thrilling at the same time. After all, it's what I want, huh? In a few short weeks we will be moved in together (in my room at my current apartment with my crappy roommates, then in Sept to a spacious apartment almost to ourselves) and the next big chapter of my, our lives, shall unfold.
There's just one thing. Every. Single. Time. I try to initiate some BJ or hanky-panky... Ninja gives me a dumb look and asks me, "What are you doing?" It's getting to be quite defeating. I'm only taking your clothes off, no real reason at all.
Y'all know the site FMyLife? I have a few tidbits I'm sure I could submit. Most recently along the lines of feeling bloated with joy and love, going in to kiss tenderly, and being told to put on deodorant.
I apologize for being so scatter-y, I'm all sorts of crazy in love with this man. And even when he makes me feel dumb he does it in a way that assures me he loves me just as much. Whew! What a feat.
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Doomsday Nears
I met up with Ninja today after work, delivering some delicious cupcakes to him and spending a bit of time at his dorm before being kicked out by hunger and the midnight hour.
After socializing for a time with his friend in the living room, Ninja and I casually found ourselves in his bedroom with the door locked, the lights off, and his hands down my pants and fondling my boobs. At the same time. He's got powers.
In the midst of mind-blanking sensations with our pants around our ankles, he bent close to my ear and mentioned that he did find the condoms he had previously lost. I was going to bug him if he'd gotten more, but he's always a step ahead! 'Cause, as I mentioned, that was the only logical thing left before we dive into the realm of anal sex... Next up is my own scared-y ness! Doomsday approaches!
Tomorrow is his birthday, maybe he'll get lucky. Probably will have to wait 'til after his buddy leaves. That would be awkward. Ninja said to his friend that I was pissed at him for making birthday sex impossible. It's probably a bad thing that I'm apparently more annoyed by the inconvenience than HE is.
Later on I followed him into the bathroom where he showed me the remnants of his black eye from sparring, and afterwards he put his arm around me and held me close. I caught a glimpse of us in the mirror and thought, "Damn, we're a hot-looking couple." Roll out the red carpet, thank you.
'Course then I had to compete with Elizabeth Shue for his attention, because we sat back down with his friend and caught The Adventures of Babysitting on TV (she's a few years older now, whatever). She is his Hot Babe #1, along with Jessica Biel.
After socializing for a time with his friend in the living room, Ninja and I casually found ourselves in his bedroom with the door locked, the lights off, and his hands down my pants and fondling my boobs. At the same time. He's got powers.
In the midst of mind-blanking sensations with our pants around our ankles, he bent close to my ear and mentioned that he did find the condoms he had previously lost. I was going to bug him if he'd gotten more, but he's always a step ahead! 'Cause, as I mentioned, that was the only logical thing left before we dive into the realm of anal sex... Next up is my own scared-y ness! Doomsday approaches!
Tomorrow is his birthday, maybe he'll get lucky. Probably will have to wait 'til after his buddy leaves. That would be awkward. Ninja said to his friend that I was pissed at him for making birthday sex impossible. It's probably a bad thing that I'm apparently more annoyed by the inconvenience than HE is.
Later on I followed him into the bathroom where he showed me the remnants of his black eye from sparring, and afterwards he put his arm around me and held me close. I caught a glimpse of us in the mirror and thought, "Damn, we're a hot-looking couple." Roll out the red carpet, thank you.
'Course then I had to compete with Elizabeth Shue for his attention, because we sat back down with his friend and caught The Adventures of Babysitting on TV (she's a few years older now, whatever). She is his Hot Babe #1, along with Jessica Biel.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Yet So Far!
So I was innocently laying on the extra bed in Ninja's dorm when he lept up with me, holding himself above me in a reversed manner so that he had his head towards my feet. I continued as normal, 'til I felt something on my head. A flaccid penis. "Oh my, how did that happen?" I looked up to see his cute little penis (oh, don't be offended!) poking out of his jeans.
Hey, I'll take what I'm given. I'm far from phased by his powers of seduction!
We fooled around for just a few moments when he said, "So... if I go find the condoms I bought, do you want to try anal?" I took in a big breath, "YES." Scared, but, yes, please, okay!
So he removes himself from above me and leaps to the boxes which held things that were in his desk (he'd moved dorm rooms for the summer) and he rummaged around. And he continued to rummage around. And for a bit longer. And a bit longer.
"But... they should be here!" I became crestfallen. Anal would be a perfect remedy during these times when I am so "unclean"... and now that he's got condoms, lets get to it I say! But no.. he lost them. I'm responsible for taking a pill every day, and Ninja can't hold on to a darn box of condoms...
So there was no anal sex. I ended up getting him hard again and we finished with an illegal bout of sex regardless of the fact that I had my cup in. He needs to get more condoms. Before I lose my nerve again! Oh my life.
Hey, I'll take what I'm given. I'm far from phased by his powers of seduction!
We fooled around for just a few moments when he said, "So... if I go find the condoms I bought, do you want to try anal?" I took in a big breath, "YES." Scared, but, yes, please, okay!
So he removes himself from above me and leaps to the boxes which held things that were in his desk (he'd moved dorm rooms for the summer) and he rummaged around. And he continued to rummage around. And for a bit longer. And a bit longer.
"But... they should be here!" I became crestfallen. Anal would be a perfect remedy during these times when I am so "unclean"... and now that he's got condoms, lets get to it I say! But no.. he lost them. I'm responsible for taking a pill every day, and Ninja can't hold on to a darn box of condoms...
So there was no anal sex. I ended up getting him hard again and we finished with an illegal bout of sex regardless of the fact that I had my cup in. He needs to get more condoms. Before I lose my nerve again! Oh my life.
Cuddling is a Good Substitute
I have to back up a moment. As you know, I do make it known when I'm in the midst of a dry-spell. I'm sure it is in the form of a complaint or two... I apologize.
Last week I was hit with the dreaded "no sex" phenomenon, and then my period ruined everything. But that was okay. I wasn't ravenous, or bitter, or crazy. I didn't masturbate more than usual.
I think that physical contact is one of the most potent things between two people. Perhaps that is the larger portion of my desires. You see, this last week I'd spent so much time with Ninja, and we spent our time cuddling, laying together, sitting next to one another. Kissing, my hand on his leg, and so on. It was nonsexual in nature, but it filled me with the very same bliss. Well, not the same. But pretty darn close and it satisfied me.
Ninja would be typing away at his computer with me sitting beside him, and he'd just break away and envelope me in his arms, "I just love touching you and being close to you. It makes me feel so good." Ditto, man. Ditto. Making him feel good makes me feel good. It takes my breath away, to be happily trite.
We're forced to sleep on little tiny twin beds at both our places, but every night we snug up together and sleep so well. He is just tall enough, and I am just short enough, that my ass fits nicely in his hips, and his arms can wrap around me comfortably, and everything just works out. I tend to fidget a lot, but... he accomodates me usually, haha. No war over who steals the covers, no one falls off the bed, and I get the best wake-up ever looking at his sweet little sleepy-face! I'd sleep anywhere, just so long as I am with him.
Now I'm so used to sleeping with him that last night, the first night I'd not done so in ages, I felt weird. He's got a friend over visiting from out of state, and only one visitor is allowed in the dorm past midnight, so I have been uprooted. Ninja had better not be cuddling with him instead...!
Last week I was hit with the dreaded "no sex" phenomenon, and then my period ruined everything. But that was okay. I wasn't ravenous, or bitter, or crazy. I didn't masturbate more than usual.
I think that physical contact is one of the most potent things between two people. Perhaps that is the larger portion of my desires. You see, this last week I'd spent so much time with Ninja, and we spent our time cuddling, laying together, sitting next to one another. Kissing, my hand on his leg, and so on. It was nonsexual in nature, but it filled me with the very same bliss. Well, not the same. But pretty darn close and it satisfied me.
Ninja would be typing away at his computer with me sitting beside him, and he'd just break away and envelope me in his arms, "I just love touching you and being close to you. It makes me feel so good." Ditto, man. Ditto. Making him feel good makes me feel good. It takes my breath away, to be happily trite.
We're forced to sleep on little tiny twin beds at both our places, but every night we snug up together and sleep so well. He is just tall enough, and I am just short enough, that my ass fits nicely in his hips, and his arms can wrap around me comfortably, and everything just works out. I tend to fidget a lot, but... he accomodates me usually, haha. No war over who steals the covers, no one falls off the bed, and I get the best wake-up ever looking at his sweet little sleepy-face! I'd sleep anywhere, just so long as I am with him.
Now I'm so used to sleeping with him that last night, the first night I'd not done so in ages, I felt weird. He's got a friend over visiting from out of state, and only one visitor is allowed in the dorm past midnight, so I have been uprooted. Ninja had better not be cuddling with him instead...!
Monday, May 25, 2009
Sex Addicts Without Sex
Been super busy lately, though now I'm officially out of school and in the midst of enjoying a nice lazy weekend with Ninja. It's been lovely, being around each other, doing this and that. Talking, flirting, snuggling, playing games and watching movies.
But, you know, something's always got to be a thorn in the side.
I was watching Intervention when Ninja came over to me and nibbled on my arm. He watched for a few moments and chuckled that I should be on the show. Huh? "Sex addict!"
Funny that he pokes fun of me, or whatever it is that he's doing, when we haven't had sex in days and I am slowly being reduced to a desperate mess on the floor. And I wasn't even desperate (at all, honestly!). I was being good and normal.
Fine.
But, you know, something's always got to be a thorn in the side.
I was watching Intervention when Ninja came over to me and nibbled on my arm. He watched for a few moments and chuckled that I should be on the show. Huh? "Sex addict!"
Funny that he pokes fun of me, or whatever it is that he's doing, when we haven't had sex in days and I am slowly being reduced to a desperate mess on the floor. And I wasn't even desperate (at all, honestly!). I was being good and normal.
Fine.
Monday, May 11, 2009
One Step Closer
He leaned back in his chair and I sat on his lap, appropriately nude and sliding down on his erection. I'm a clumsy girl and the position doesn't last, but he holds my hips and makes me happy.
He says, "And I bought some lubed condoms, so maybe we can try some..."
ANAL. YAY. I get excited. And proud. And happier. Not just any condoms, but lubed condoms! Smarty britches Ninja is.
The only thing holding us back, now that the mandatory condom issue is out of the way, is my own natural fear of the unknown and pain. There should be no pain, but I'm a scaredy-cat anyway.
We didn't go any further that night, but I'm guessing soon we'll get down to business. Just, you know, one step at a time.
He says, "And I bought some lubed condoms, so maybe we can try some..."
ANAL. YAY. I get excited. And proud. And happier. Not just any condoms, but lubed condoms! Smarty britches Ninja is.
The only thing holding us back, now that the mandatory condom issue is out of the way, is my own natural fear of the unknown and pain. There should be no pain, but I'm a scaredy-cat anyway.
We didn't go any further that night, but I'm guessing soon we'll get down to business. Just, you know, one step at a time.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Tell Me
I wonder if his ears tingle when I say his name. You know, that folklore that your ears burn when someone says your name.
'Cause I always tell him when I'm cumming, playing with myself. During sex I say his name sometimes, but my mind is too blank to form language I might say. But masturbating is so different. I've been doing the Literotica thing, basically wasting an hour of my life each night. Because, damn! An hour goes by so quickly. Should definitely be doing homework, but it is so much more fun to think about sucking his cock in [insert secret place].
Anyway, yeah. I used to not say a peep. A bedroom next to the brother and parents made for easy audial transmittance. Though I used to jerk off to music. I was a weird girl, whatever.
All the same, it didn't really occure to me to make noise. Maybe it was the bad porn I was watching, or probably the fact that my orgasms weren't nearly as nice. Why make noise? That's weird. WEIRD. And distracting.
Well, maybe it is a bit distracting sometimes. But nowadays I can't help it. Since that flip-switch during sex and I got transformed into this monster, I can't keep my mouth shut for long. Distracting and potentially embarassing when you realize that once in a while the common areas of our living arrangements are occupied.
All orgasms come with a complimentary falling-off-the-edge-of-the-world feeling and that sweet rush of "ohhhh [Ninjaaaaaa]" and I'm reduced to convulses, twitches and a puddle of wetness. I think it derives from the awesomeness I feel when he groans and tells me when he's cumming. It is so hot. Why not exchange the favor? In secret...
Burn, baby, burn!
'Cause I always tell him when I'm cumming, playing with myself. During sex I say his name sometimes, but my mind is too blank to form language I might say. But masturbating is so different. I've been doing the Literotica thing, basically wasting an hour of my life each night. Because, damn! An hour goes by so quickly. Should definitely be doing homework, but it is so much more fun to think about sucking his cock in [insert secret place].
Anyway, yeah. I used to not say a peep. A bedroom next to the brother and parents made for easy audial transmittance. Though I used to jerk off to music. I was a weird girl, whatever.
All the same, it didn't really occure to me to make noise. Maybe it was the bad porn I was watching, or probably the fact that my orgasms weren't nearly as nice. Why make noise? That's weird. WEIRD. And distracting.
Well, maybe it is a bit distracting sometimes. But nowadays I can't help it. Since that flip-switch during sex and I got transformed into this monster, I can't keep my mouth shut for long. Distracting and potentially embarassing when you realize that once in a while the common areas of our living arrangements are occupied.
All orgasms come with a complimentary falling-off-the-edge-of-the-world feeling and that sweet rush of "ohhhh [Ninjaaaaaa]" and I'm reduced to convulses, twitches and a puddle of wetness. I think it derives from the awesomeness I feel when he groans and tells me when he's cumming. It is so hot. Why not exchange the favor? In secret...
Burn, baby, burn!
Sunday, May 3, 2009
A Rose by Any Other Name
I love it when he says my name.
Even when he's saying it to make me stop doing something "dumb," or whatever else unpleasant. There's something about him saying it that makes me happy. His accent, maybe. I think also the unfamiliarity (I don't particularly love my name, it sounds foreign to me) draws my attention. But I love it.
He also calls me "Baby" and "Angel" and "Sugar Tits" and cutesy things like that - some more appropriate than others. They all have a different tone. They're covers, generic. I remember he used to have a folder named "Baby" in which he placed his ex's emails. Now it is I who carry that title.
Not to discount the endearment or feelings behind them. It is a tough slot to fill; I'm just lucky enough to be in it. I know I'm strange and have thought long and hard about things to call Ninja. My inexperience plays there - I'd never called anyone "baby" my entire life. Except, you know, a drooly one. All I associated with the term was drooly babies. Until it got that new meaning, which is thankfully quite different from "crotch-dropping."
Some couples have specific pet names which are derived from specific instances. That's cool and all.
But, the fact remains. There is something special about using my name.
Even when he's saying it to make me stop doing something "dumb," or whatever else unpleasant. There's something about him saying it that makes me happy. His accent, maybe. I think also the unfamiliarity (I don't particularly love my name, it sounds foreign to me) draws my attention. But I love it.
He also calls me "Baby" and "Angel" and "Sugar Tits" and cutesy things like that - some more appropriate than others. They all have a different tone. They're covers, generic. I remember he used to have a folder named "Baby" in which he placed his ex's emails. Now it is I who carry that title.
Not to discount the endearment or feelings behind them. It is a tough slot to fill; I'm just lucky enough to be in it. I know I'm strange and have thought long and hard about things to call Ninja. My inexperience plays there - I'd never called anyone "baby" my entire life. Except, you know, a drooly one. All I associated with the term was drooly babies. Until it got that new meaning, which is thankfully quite different from "crotch-dropping."
Some couples have specific pet names which are derived from specific instances. That's cool and all.
But, the fact remains. There is something special about using my name.
Friday, April 24, 2009
Ready, Set, Go!
I've been hanging out with Ninja in ample amounts - that's always a lovely thing. Watching ...tv*... and movies and snuggling and doing work. Staying at his place, mostly, which is also fine by me.
While his pick-up lines could use a bit of polishing sometimes ("Are you period-ing?"), just being near him makes me infinitely happy and, consequently, aroused.
I was damn near asleep last night, he was laying beside me watching tv* when I felt him rest himself on my back and begin to touch me. He wrapped his arms around my neck, breathing into my shoulder, and slowly worked his cock inside me. I was awake enough by then to let out a moan, feeling his balls between my thighs. No joke, I love that. He chuckled into my neck, "You love me," and my pussy squelched with his movements. I got so wet.
Any time, day or night, whether I'm conscious or not, my body is ready for him.
I noticed, though, that ever since he's changed his desktop wallpaper to some chick with tattoos, that I've been getting a lot more sex. Like, twice each meeting. At least. Dream come true, holy shit.
Maybe that means I need to start getting my tattoos.
While his pick-up lines could use a bit of polishing sometimes ("Are you period-ing?"), just being near him makes me infinitely happy and, consequently, aroused.
I was damn near asleep last night, he was laying beside me watching tv* when I felt him rest himself on my back and begin to touch me. He wrapped his arms around my neck, breathing into my shoulder, and slowly worked his cock inside me. I was awake enough by then to let out a moan, feeling his balls between my thighs. No joke, I love that. He chuckled into my neck, "You love me," and my pussy squelched with his movements. I got so wet.
Any time, day or night, whether I'm conscious or not, my body is ready for him.
I noticed, though, that ever since he's changed his desktop wallpaper to some chick with tattoos, that I've been getting a lot more sex. Like, twice each meeting. At least. Dream come true, holy shit.
Maybe that means I need to start getting my tattoos.
Friday, April 17, 2009
HEATHEN!
"Hey mom, so, just for future reference, Ninja would like to come back some time to see his old friends... would he be able to stay with me? [quieter] ...in my room?"
(Mother sighs) "I went through this with your brother. He is more than welcome to stay in the house, but he'll have to sleep on the couch."
(I cringe) "...you know we're moving in together..."
"I know you are, but it's my morals and my house. I don't want you in the same bed, I don't want it in my house."
"What, you don't trust us?" I mean, I guess I could try to not have sex in the house... ohyeahright
"It's not that I don't trust you, but you're not married and it's my morals. If you want a night together, you can rent a motel."
Morals? My mom's morals? Since when did she get religious? And I really love that she said she didn't want "it" in her house. Like it's a curse or drugs or something.
I'm glad I never really experienced her sex-negative views while I was growing up. We just never talked about sex (I've still never had The Talk with my parents) and I started masturbating early enough to grow a healthy affection for it behind her back. I'd hate to be so wigged out by the thought of people sleeping together.
It's not like we can't have sex during the day, anyway. FOR SPITE. SPITE SPITE SPITE.
Days like this I wonder how I ever got conceived.
(Mother sighs) "I went through this with your brother. He is more than welcome to stay in the house, but he'll have to sleep on the couch."
(I cringe) "...you know we're moving in together..."
"I know you are, but it's my morals and my house. I don't want you in the same bed, I don't want it in my house."
"What, you don't trust us?" I mean, I guess I could try to not have sex in the house... ohyeahright
"It's not that I don't trust you, but you're not married and it's my morals. If you want a night together, you can rent a motel."
Morals? My mom's morals? Since when did she get religious? And I really love that she said she didn't want "it" in her house. Like it's a curse or drugs or something.
I'm glad I never really experienced her sex-negative views while I was growing up. We just never talked about sex (I've still never had The Talk with my parents) and I started masturbating early enough to grow a healthy affection for it behind her back. I'd hate to be so wigged out by the thought of people sleeping together.
It's not like we can't have sex during the day, anyway. FOR SPITE. SPITE SPITE SPITE.
Days like this I wonder how I ever got conceived.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Magnum Man
So, like many men, Ninja seems to be iffy about the size of his manhood. Like most well-educated women, I know it's less pure size-factor and more talent of wielding the thing, but my opinion and obvious satisfaction amounts for nothing - he still is hung (hah!) on the fact that he thinks his cock is small.
Anyone who's done a lick of research knows the average length is 5-something inches, and also that the sensitive length of the vagina is about the same. So, really, don't blame it on your size, guys. According to statistics, you just need to know how to fuck.
Despite this, the fact remains that Ninja has a pretty big cock. Like, the first time I saw it, stepping into his shower a wee little virgin who'd only just first experienced some heavy groping, I was like "oh shit" inside. I've had him measure it before - I forget the exact numeral, but 7-something in length. And thick. Perfectly proportioned. I think I should measure it myself some time. Mmm.
Now, a tidbit of information that will make many call for me to burn in hell for the rest of eternity. Ninja and I have never used condoms. I've been on the pill since I was 16, and he knew this before he took my virginity. Me being a virgin meant STI's were a miniscuel risk, and he knew himself to be clean, and laying in bed beneath him, naked, horny, anticipating, and nervous all to hell, I trusted him without a rubber. We were just very lucky to not have a problem. This goes without saying... DON'T NOT USE CONDOMS WITH NEW PARTNERS. Don't follow my example, k?
Anyway, the reason we didn't use condoms, ever, was because he said he didn't like them. They weren't comfortable. Etc., etc. So we took a leap of faith (thankfully I've always been relatively religious with my pill-taking time) and the rest is history.
He's requested anal sex, and I'm more than happy to oblige, but I don't want to do it without the safety of a condom. No condoms have been bought, no buttsex has ensued.
Well, two nights ago we were cuddling in my bed and he told me a story. He said that he was at the friendly local campus store and decided to conduct an experiment. His roommate Architect uses magnums, and Ninja always jokingly (?) claimed that's why his girlfriend must like him so much. Blah blah, big cock myth. Eyeroll.
Well, said experiment involved Ninja purchasing some magnums and trying them on. VOILA, GUYS. He told me, "They are soooo much better than normal condoms!" I cracked up for a couple minutes there. I knew it! Condoms couldn't be that much of a hardship - so many people rely on them. Secondly, POINT PROVEN. YES, Ninja, you DO have a huge cock. And lucky for me, you know how to use it.
So, there we go. Lets have anal now, k? Just take it slow.
Anyone who's done a lick of research knows the average length is 5-something inches, and also that the sensitive length of the vagina is about the same. So, really, don't blame it on your size, guys. According to statistics, you just need to know how to fuck.
Despite this, the fact remains that Ninja has a pretty big cock. Like, the first time I saw it, stepping into his shower a wee little virgin who'd only just first experienced some heavy groping, I was like "oh shit" inside. I've had him measure it before - I forget the exact numeral, but 7-something in length. And thick. Perfectly proportioned. I think I should measure it myself some time. Mmm.
Now, a tidbit of information that will make many call for me to burn in hell for the rest of eternity. Ninja and I have never used condoms. I've been on the pill since I was 16, and he knew this before he took my virginity. Me being a virgin meant STI's were a miniscuel risk, and he knew himself to be clean, and laying in bed beneath him, naked, horny, anticipating, and nervous all to hell, I trusted him without a rubber. We were just very lucky to not have a problem. This goes without saying... DON'T NOT USE CONDOMS WITH NEW PARTNERS. Don't follow my example, k?
Anyway, the reason we didn't use condoms, ever, was because he said he didn't like them. They weren't comfortable. Etc., etc. So we took a leap of faith (thankfully I've always been relatively religious with my pill-taking time) and the rest is history.
He's requested anal sex, and I'm more than happy to oblige, but I don't want to do it without the safety of a condom. No condoms have been bought, no buttsex has ensued.
Well, two nights ago we were cuddling in my bed and he told me a story. He said that he was at the friendly local campus store and decided to conduct an experiment. His roommate Architect uses magnums, and Ninja always jokingly (?) claimed that's why his girlfriend must like him so much. Blah blah, big cock myth. Eyeroll.
Well, said experiment involved Ninja purchasing some magnums and trying them on. VOILA, GUYS. He told me, "They are soooo much better than normal condoms!" I cracked up for a couple minutes there. I knew it! Condoms couldn't be that much of a hardship - so many people rely on them. Secondly, POINT PROVEN. YES, Ninja, you DO have a huge cock. And lucky for me, you know how to use it.
So, there we go. Lets have anal now, k? Just take it slow.
Friday, April 3, 2009
No Period Sex, but I Got in a Good BJ
So Ninja really doesn't like doing me when I'm on my period. He'll give in and we'll get it on in the shower sometimes, and once in a while we'll have a quicky with my cup in, but he always shrugs and says he doesn't like the mess.
Now being on The Pill gives me a plenty predictable schedule, and I'm on the rag for about four and a half days during the week, so it's not all that inconvenient usually. But this past Wednesday he invited me over and, unknowing of my bodily functions, expressed his desire to fuck my brains out. I sighed and told him of the predicament, and he went completely crestfallen. He proceeded to grope and tease me just enough to satisfy his cravings without going all-out and getting messy. This turned me on ridiculously and also infuriated me. I wanted some loving but he wouldn't give in!
We were laying on his bed, he wanted to nap and I was working on some homework. He got my pants off and was doing all those things, I glued the wrong side of a paper I was working on and screwed up a bunch of stuff because I was all shaky from getting so horny. He apologized for distracting me and stopped. But NO I didn't want him to STOP, I wanted him to FUCK ME.
Or maybe if he wouldn't fuck me, I'd give him a blow job. To be honest, I was beyond that point. He brilliantly suggested (I think it was more of a direct order) that I suck him off, and I just about went mad. I wanted his cock in me, and I wanted him to (just like he said he wanted to!) fuck me 'til he couldn't move. But nnnnnoooo he still didn't get messy.
I protested his suggestion and in turn told me that the next time I wanted to blow him that he wouldn't let me. Damn. Off went the rest of the clothes!
I crept over to get in position (laying on his knees looking up at him) but he grabbed my waist, grinning. "Oh no, I want your ass up here." Uuummm never done this before! A passing thought of self-consciousness was dismissed when I crawled on top of him and held his cock in my hands. Seriously, guys. It's gorgeous. The first touch of my mouth always makes him moan, and it was all good from there.
The new angle was nice, and I used my whole body to bob up and down. He was going crazy, touching my ass and talking to me. Best thing ever. But I got tired. Sweat was pouring off me. "You're so wet, you're dripping on me," he said. Well unfortunately I don't know if he's into that sort of thing but being horny, and him seeing it manifest, just turned me on even more. Hope that doesn't count as mess...
He reached for my clit and I just about melted. I lost all concentration on the blowjob and fell on him while he stroked and fingered me. It was SO GOOD. And then he stopped, and the world came back, and I had his cock between my tits so I took it up again and was intent on finishing what I'd started. He gave me those lovely, primal tips, "oh don't stop, just like that," and soon enough he was telling me that he was cumming and he stiffened in my hands and I had a full mouth of jizz. I could feel him pulsing between my lips. Yessss, success.
Ninja was out of order for a while after that. Me, well, I was frothing I was so wet. I calmed myself, pleased to have given a successful BJ. I've been masturbating multiple times per day to make up for it. I still haven't seen him and now that I'm at the end of my period I deserve some good loving from him... but I guess I should do homework instead. I'm going to go for round 3 first.
Now being on The Pill gives me a plenty predictable schedule, and I'm on the rag for about four and a half days during the week, so it's not all that inconvenient usually. But this past Wednesday he invited me over and, unknowing of my bodily functions, expressed his desire to fuck my brains out. I sighed and told him of the predicament, and he went completely crestfallen. He proceeded to grope and tease me just enough to satisfy his cravings without going all-out and getting messy. This turned me on ridiculously and also infuriated me. I wanted some loving but he wouldn't give in!
We were laying on his bed, he wanted to nap and I was working on some homework. He got my pants off and was doing all those things, I glued the wrong side of a paper I was working on and screwed up a bunch of stuff because I was all shaky from getting so horny. He apologized for distracting me and stopped. But NO I didn't want him to STOP, I wanted him to FUCK ME.
Or maybe if he wouldn't fuck me, I'd give him a blow job. To be honest, I was beyond that point. He brilliantly suggested (I think it was more of a direct order) that I suck him off, and I just about went mad. I wanted his cock in me, and I wanted him to (just like he said he wanted to!) fuck me 'til he couldn't move. But nnnnnoooo he still didn't get messy.
I protested his suggestion and in turn told me that the next time I wanted to blow him that he wouldn't let me. Damn. Off went the rest of the clothes!
I crept over to get in position (laying on his knees looking up at him) but he grabbed my waist, grinning. "Oh no, I want your ass up here." Uuummm never done this before! A passing thought of self-consciousness was dismissed when I crawled on top of him and held his cock in my hands. Seriously, guys. It's gorgeous. The first touch of my mouth always makes him moan, and it was all good from there.
The new angle was nice, and I used my whole body to bob up and down. He was going crazy, touching my ass and talking to me. Best thing ever. But I got tired. Sweat was pouring off me. "You're so wet, you're dripping on me," he said. Well unfortunately I don't know if he's into that sort of thing but being horny, and him seeing it manifest, just turned me on even more. Hope that doesn't count as mess...
He reached for my clit and I just about melted. I lost all concentration on the blowjob and fell on him while he stroked and fingered me. It was SO GOOD. And then he stopped, and the world came back, and I had his cock between my tits so I took it up again and was intent on finishing what I'd started. He gave me those lovely, primal tips, "oh don't stop, just like that," and soon enough he was telling me that he was cumming and he stiffened in my hands and I had a full mouth of jizz. I could feel him pulsing between my lips. Yessss, success.
Ninja was out of order for a while after that. Me, well, I was frothing I was so wet. I calmed myself, pleased to have given a successful BJ. I've been masturbating multiple times per day to make up for it. I still haven't seen him and now that I'm at the end of my period I deserve some good loving from him... but I guess I should do homework instead. I'm going to go for round 3 first.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
BJ FAIL
I had twenty minutes or so before I had to meet with my friend London to assist in her finding a new apartment. I was pasting cut-out letters in a journal for class while watching Ninja play Total War and dominate Jerusalem when he popped up and said "Forget this computer game, lets snuggle!" I love that boy.
So we layed in bed and the gears started turning, but they jammed a bit. He knew it, of course. I'd arranged myself comfortably on top of him, looking at his face in that way I like to do that is probably rather creepy. "Stop thinking about it and just do it," he coaxed, all-knowing, after informing me that he had a hard-on. "You're making it difficult for yourself."
Okay, okay, my cover is blown so it's now or never! I shimmied down his torso and pushed his hips to the mattress and fumbled with the button on his jeans. Clumsy hands, I muttered he shouldn't be making it difficult for me to get his pants off.
His cock is amazing.
And you know what? HE DIDN'T COME. I can't give good blowjobs anymore, he hasn't finished in forever. I am upset at myself. But I won't lose faith, as long as he wants 'em.
It wasn't all terrible, of course, because after he apparently tired of me working on him, he told me to take my pants off. Off they went and I took him in me, in the slightly-awkward but pleasurable Reverse Cowgirl.
He rubbed my thighs and ass while I enjoyed myself, and warmed me up to a little anal play. We've not gone too far with that - another self-imposed road block, you see. I've got no problem with anal. It turns me on in porn and it gets me off when I fantasize about it, but sensation-wise I've not quite transitioned from the "no, you're not going to shit yourself" feeling. And I'm deathly afraid of fissures and pain. I know, I know, done properly it won't hurt at all. But I don't know 'cause I've never tried more than a handful of experiments with my vibrator.
Ninja's prodded me (hah! pun!) a few times about it but he's never got a condom, which I would prefer, and we've never got lube, which we would need.
Eventually I got a little psyched out and I started hitting the right spot so my LEGS stopped working... I leaned back and he bucked beneath me, it was freaking great. He came shortly thereafter, groaning and twitching. Aaah, I love that.
We cleaned up, I apologized for not getting him off properly, and off I went, late.
So we layed in bed and the gears started turning, but they jammed a bit. He knew it, of course. I'd arranged myself comfortably on top of him, looking at his face in that way I like to do that is probably rather creepy. "Stop thinking about it and just do it," he coaxed, all-knowing, after informing me that he had a hard-on. "You're making it difficult for yourself."
Okay, okay, my cover is blown so it's now or never! I shimmied down his torso and pushed his hips to the mattress and fumbled with the button on his jeans. Clumsy hands, I muttered he shouldn't be making it difficult for me to get his pants off.
His cock is amazing.
And you know what? HE DIDN'T COME. I can't give good blowjobs anymore, he hasn't finished in forever. I am upset at myself. But I won't lose faith, as long as he wants 'em.
It wasn't all terrible, of course, because after he apparently tired of me working on him, he told me to take my pants off. Off they went and I took him in me, in the slightly-awkward but pleasurable Reverse Cowgirl.
He rubbed my thighs and ass while I enjoyed myself, and warmed me up to a little anal play. We've not gone too far with that - another self-imposed road block, you see. I've got no problem with anal. It turns me on in porn and it gets me off when I fantasize about it, but sensation-wise I've not quite transitioned from the "no, you're not going to shit yourself" feeling. And I'm deathly afraid of fissures and pain. I know, I know, done properly it won't hurt at all. But I don't know 'cause I've never tried more than a handful of experiments with my vibrator.
Ninja's prodded me (hah! pun!) a few times about it but he's never got a condom, which I would prefer, and we've never got lube, which we would need.
Eventually I got a little psyched out and I started hitting the right spot so my LEGS stopped working... I leaned back and he bucked beneath me, it was freaking great. He came shortly thereafter, groaning and twitching. Aaah, I love that.
We cleaned up, I apologized for not getting him off properly, and off I went, late.
No Joke, I'm Really Shy
"You don't touch me," he said quietly. We were in my room, laying in my bed and looking at his laptop. "I'm always grabbing your boobs and loving on you, but you don't hardly touch me."
I was taken aback. What a claim! But - I had to pause. Perhaps not so much a false claim as a true one. I do much more loving-on in my head than real life, that's for sure.
He sounded quite disappointed and his voice had quieted. I rolled my head into his arm. "For claiming to think about it so much you sure don't act on it. Nine times out of ten I'm the one initiating things," he continued. I shriveled up.
"I'm shy," was my only explanation. I am! My thoughts are a universe unto themselves and I'd rather hole it all up and wait for him to assure me he wants me than put myself out on a limb and risk the admittedly small chance of rejection. And even at that rejection is a harsh term.
"It's not like I'd tell you to stop," he rolled his eyes and mocked, "Oh no, stop that Emily, I don't like it when you do that!" I laughed. Okay, okay, he made sense. And hearing myself try to explain things didn't help my case... really, what justification do I have in not making the first move?
There never is justification apart from "I don't want to do something you don't like." I've always been this way in many facets of my life, but I've been getting better, haha. But this here is still a challenge for me.
I've owed him a blowjob for a couple days. I was going to. I was going to. I thought about it all day. Right now? Okay, how about after the movie. Oh wait, he turned away. Maybe in the morning? Again and again I'd find excuses to disappoint myself and find the opportunity missed. Bummer.
So after the discussion last night he mentioned the IOU BJ and I told him if he woke up in the morning that he'd get some head. He shook his head and said that I could just wake him up and do it - once again, not like he'd stop me. And I'm guessing if I love being woken up by his cock, he'd be okay with being woken up with my lips around him. Okay, go for the gold!
...I woke up for class and asked him if he was getting up. He wasn't. My body buzzed. I showered, I shaved, I trimmed. I came back into my room and watched him sleep, all stretched out in my gold sheets and looking like a god.
...And I didn't end up giving him a blowjob. And now I'm all pissed at myself, I really just really want to suck him off. But he's in class and I don't know when I'll see him. What a disappointment I am to myself! And him, the poor boy. He just wants his girlfriend to do what she wants. I want to wait outside his dorm and drag him away with me. I want him bad. I need to go play with myself now.
I was taken aback. What a claim! But - I had to pause. Perhaps not so much a false claim as a true one. I do much more loving-on in my head than real life, that's for sure.
He sounded quite disappointed and his voice had quieted. I rolled my head into his arm. "For claiming to think about it so much you sure don't act on it. Nine times out of ten I'm the one initiating things," he continued. I shriveled up.
"I'm shy," was my only explanation. I am! My thoughts are a universe unto themselves and I'd rather hole it all up and wait for him to assure me he wants me than put myself out on a limb and risk the admittedly small chance of rejection. And even at that rejection is a harsh term.
"It's not like I'd tell you to stop," he rolled his eyes and mocked, "Oh no, stop that Emily, I don't like it when you do that!" I laughed. Okay, okay, he made sense. And hearing myself try to explain things didn't help my case... really, what justification do I have in not making the first move?
There never is justification apart from "I don't want to do something you don't like." I've always been this way in many facets of my life, but I've been getting better, haha. But this here is still a challenge for me.
I've owed him a blowjob for a couple days. I was going to. I was going to. I thought about it all day. Right now? Okay, how about after the movie. Oh wait, he turned away. Maybe in the morning? Again and again I'd find excuses to disappoint myself and find the opportunity missed. Bummer.
So after the discussion last night he mentioned the IOU BJ and I told him if he woke up in the morning that he'd get some head. He shook his head and said that I could just wake him up and do it - once again, not like he'd stop me. And I'm guessing if I love being woken up by his cock, he'd be okay with being woken up with my lips around him. Okay, go for the gold!
...I woke up for class and asked him if he was getting up. He wasn't. My body buzzed. I showered, I shaved, I trimmed. I came back into my room and watched him sleep, all stretched out in my gold sheets and looking like a god.
...And I didn't end up giving him a blowjob. And now I'm all pissed at myself, I really just really want to suck him off. But he's in class and I don't know when I'll see him. What a disappointment I am to myself! And him, the poor boy. He just wants his girlfriend to do what she wants. I want to wait outside his dorm and drag him away with me. I want him bad. I need to go play with myself now.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
A Happy Return
So I was so busy in China that I only managed to play around with myself twice. Ninja seemed surprised! I just didn't have the energy and I am not used to doing it in such shared space - though as it were, my second fling happened in the middle of the night, almost motionlessly, the result of some pretty hot thoughts. It was an experiment.
Anyway, Hong Kong and Beijing have hereby been Christianed.
I came home happily to Ninja and have been staying with him every night since. And we have been having some of the. best. sex. ever. No seriously, even masturbating about it has been better than usual, haha!
I've been all jet-lagged and messed up with my sleeping schedule, so I've been sleeping later than usual. It was late morning and I got woken up by him rolling over on top of me, kissing me. He kissed my chest, and I felt his hard-on against my inner thigh, and I opened my eyes to see him looking up at me. My favourite. Melted! Feeling his smooth cock press into me turned me on instantly. As was evident by his slippery entry.
I was on my back with my arms thrown behind me to push against either side of the window (yes, the shade was down) in his dorm room while we made love, and I remember distinctly the quivering of my pussy. Like, you know, almost-orgasmic contractions. The desired and natural reaction to ecstacy! They went away, but it was a pretty sweet add-on to the situation.
Being on top is often the way for we ladies to get our rocks off, so it comes to no surprise that in certain positions of cowgirl I get some paralysingly good feelings. But that's the problem - it makes me unable to move until I get my wits and start rocking again! Pisses me off immensely, but I won't complain too much. Perhaps the best part is seeing him move his hips below me and react in the very same way - he'll close his eyes tightly and his mouth will drop open just a little right when I feel him rub directly against the upper wall of my insides.
I love his reactions so much, I'm pretty sure that's a large part as to why I love giving blowjobs (we saw I Love You, Man last night, I'm hoping he'll never have the same complaint!). It's when he gives me the most feedback, particularly verbal. He'll moan, he'll talk to me a little, he'll grab my hands or pull my hair out of my face, he'll thrust his hips up to push him deeper, and tell me to squeeze his shaft harder. Tell me what you want, baby, and it's done. Especially when he badly wants to come and he'll grunt an order to just fuck him.
We'll cuddle all night, and he'll rest himself on me and tell me that he loves me. I could never get tired of hearing it. Whatever he wants, I want to give it to him. Well, almost. No threesomes.
Anyway, Hong Kong and Beijing have hereby been Christianed.
I came home happily to Ninja and have been staying with him every night since. And we have been having some of the. best. sex. ever. No seriously, even masturbating about it has been better than usual, haha!
I've been all jet-lagged and messed up with my sleeping schedule, so I've been sleeping later than usual. It was late morning and I got woken up by him rolling over on top of me, kissing me. He kissed my chest, and I felt his hard-on against my inner thigh, and I opened my eyes to see him looking up at me. My favourite. Melted! Feeling his smooth cock press into me turned me on instantly. As was evident by his slippery entry.
I was on my back with my arms thrown behind me to push against either side of the window (yes, the shade was down) in his dorm room while we made love, and I remember distinctly the quivering of my pussy. Like, you know, almost-orgasmic contractions. The desired and natural reaction to ecstacy! They went away, but it was a pretty sweet add-on to the situation.
Being on top is often the way for we ladies to get our rocks off, so it comes to no surprise that in certain positions of cowgirl I get some paralysingly good feelings. But that's the problem - it makes me unable to move until I get my wits and start rocking again! Pisses me off immensely, but I won't complain too much. Perhaps the best part is seeing him move his hips below me and react in the very same way - he'll close his eyes tightly and his mouth will drop open just a little right when I feel him rub directly against the upper wall of my insides.
I love his reactions so much, I'm pretty sure that's a large part as to why I love giving blowjobs (we saw I Love You, Man last night, I'm hoping he'll never have the same complaint!). It's when he gives me the most feedback, particularly verbal. He'll moan, he'll talk to me a little, he'll grab my hands or pull my hair out of my face, he'll thrust his hips up to push him deeper, and tell me to squeeze his shaft harder. Tell me what you want, baby, and it's done. Especially when he badly wants to come and he'll grunt an order to just fuck him.
We'll cuddle all night, and he'll rest himself on me and tell me that he loves me. I could never get tired of hearing it. Whatever he wants, I want to give it to him. Well, almost. No threesomes.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Orgasms in China
I'm going to China for two weeks. It's through the college - going to do some studying along with awesome sightseeing. Just had my last orgasm in America, gonna have fun sneaking around to masturbate in Asia! Have fun!
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Destination: Boxing
I've been stupendously busy with work (Valentine's Day at a gift shop is hard work!) and classes and life. But I've been busy, you know, in other ways.
Pretty happy with that.
I'd like to mention, for the record, that Ninja got hired to work for the boxing gym we attend. And when he turned out the lights and went to lock the door, I had to smile to myself. I wish he could take me right there in the ring. It would be so hot. The fact that he has access to it alone, making it closer to reality, makes it hotter.
That would be horrible, but a girl can play it out in her head, right?!
Pretty happy with that.
I'd like to mention, for the record, that Ninja got hired to work for the boxing gym we attend. And when he turned out the lights and went to lock the door, I had to smile to myself. I wish he could take me right there in the ring. It would be so hot. The fact that he has access to it alone, making it closer to reality, makes it hotter.
That would be horrible, but a girl can play it out in her head, right?!
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Anomaly
School has started and I've only been to two subjects so far - both last week's and today's class was cancelled. But shit, man, have I been busy. 200 sketches due over the span of a weekend, ten page of a visual journal due on Thursdays, lots of prepping for my trip to China this spring break - yessss international education!
What has that meant for me? A cut-down on masturbating. I just get too damn tired. No time in the mornings (8am classes cause me to want to sleep in as much as possible) and at night I try to get started but just can't get my own blood moving. I think about masturbating at work, but I feel guilty, so I haven't yet. I used to do it semi-regularly at my old job... just a quick trip to the bathroom on lunch break. But here, I'm the only worker and I'd have to lock the door and everything. It seems mighty selfish just for some jollies.
Boy time has also been halved. Schoolwork has meant that our short spurt of going boxing nightly has ended, and the last time I saw him was Friday afternoon. I watched him play the new Star Wars game (which looks pretty beautiful) and he'd rub my back or stroke my chin. It really just made me melt. And no, I'm not talking about arousal (okay, some I am) I just felt instantly calm and peaceful and warm. His hands on my back, his fingers bending to the curves of my neck, it was instantly pacifying and purely amazing. The artifical light on his face, and the way the spheres of his pupils cast shadows on the irises, the texture of his face, the scruff on his chin. I could stay all day like that, looking at him. (I drew a portrait of him a week or so ago, and it took me forever because I just stared at his face.)
We had a bit of loving, after the Xbox was turned off. His hands on my calves, his arms bending around my legs, his balls slapping my ass, his cock twitching within me. I could stay like that all the time, too.
He said that boxing has been tiring him out. I know that stress with money, life, and school cuts down the libido, but I feel weird about the fact that his desire has changed in the past few months. Weird because I am the opposite. I want to kiss him when I'm happy, sad, and angry. Every emotion makes me quiver and I just want to touch him and make warmth between us. Being tired makes me fantasize slow and steady, feeling every muscle and drop of sweat. Normal happiness makes me want it on the kitchen counter and in the pool, in an alley way down the street. Frustration and desperation, please tie me up and fuck me, pull on my hair and smack my ass.
I think I'm an anomaly. It's not really a bother, though. I think about these things all the time anyway, whether or not they happen, and whether or not he pokes fun at me for being this way. Compromise happens somewhere.
What has that meant for me? A cut-down on masturbating. I just get too damn tired. No time in the mornings (8am classes cause me to want to sleep in as much as possible) and at night I try to get started but just can't get my own blood moving. I think about masturbating at work, but I feel guilty, so I haven't yet. I used to do it semi-regularly at my old job... just a quick trip to the bathroom on lunch break. But here, I'm the only worker and I'd have to lock the door and everything. It seems mighty selfish just for some jollies.
Boy time has also been halved. Schoolwork has meant that our short spurt of going boxing nightly has ended, and the last time I saw him was Friday afternoon. I watched him play the new Star Wars game (which looks pretty beautiful) and he'd rub my back or stroke my chin. It really just made me melt. And no, I'm not talking about arousal (okay, some I am) I just felt instantly calm and peaceful and warm. His hands on my back, his fingers bending to the curves of my neck, it was instantly pacifying and purely amazing. The artifical light on his face, and the way the spheres of his pupils cast shadows on the irises, the texture of his face, the scruff on his chin. I could stay all day like that, looking at him. (I drew a portrait of him a week or so ago, and it took me forever because I just stared at his face.)
We had a bit of loving, after the Xbox was turned off. His hands on my calves, his arms bending around my legs, his balls slapping my ass, his cock twitching within me. I could stay like that all the time, too.
He said that boxing has been tiring him out. I know that stress with money, life, and school cuts down the libido, but I feel weird about the fact that his desire has changed in the past few months. Weird because I am the opposite. I want to kiss him when I'm happy, sad, and angry. Every emotion makes me quiver and I just want to touch him and make warmth between us. Being tired makes me fantasize slow and steady, feeling every muscle and drop of sweat. Normal happiness makes me want it on the kitchen counter and in the pool, in an alley way down the street. Frustration and desperation, please tie me up and fuck me, pull on my hair and smack my ass.
I think I'm an anomaly. It's not really a bother, though. I think about these things all the time anyway, whether or not they happen, and whether or not he pokes fun at me for being this way. Compromise happens somewhere.
Friday, January 23, 2009
Mess Up my Porn
So I'm watching porn this evening, flipping through some clips. This porn is lame. I try some galleries. Oh, hey, new features. I don't generally explore on porn sites - I'm not that interested. But I clicked around some new features they had. And one clip that came up, really screwed up, was this chick giving a guy a blowjob through a hole cut in a pizza box AS WELL AS the pizza inside.
I click through to a selection of photos. Some people must be turned on by sex in pizza boxes, but I am truly not one of them.
And then I notice.
It is Pornstar Roommate looking up at the camera with those big spacey eyes.
*headdesk* TURNED OFF.
I click through to a selection of photos. Some people must be turned on by sex in pizza boxes, but I am truly not one of them.
And then I notice.
It is Pornstar Roommate looking up at the camera with those big spacey eyes.
*headdesk* TURNED OFF.
Friday, January 16, 2009
"Real Touch"
I'm sorry, but the chick on here makes me laugh so hard! I mean, I'm sure it's great for the guy who doesn't want/can't get real pussy... though a bit sad, trying to recreate "a real sex experience," but the seriousness just gets me!
Not to mention it creeps me the fuck out. It's like an alien.
Not to mention it creeps me the fuck out. It's like an alien.
More Than He Does
Saturday evening Ninja came over and stayed with me. We watched movies, snuggled, had a nice dinner, and were annoyed by my terrible roommates.
After our shower (sex in the shower!) he was sitting at my computer and I was on the floor by his knees, resting my head on him. He put his cock on my face - it seems to be something he enjoys. Me, well, it's warm and soft, so no complaints. I licked the underside of his glans, and he squirmed in his seat, and continued browsing the internet. I'd do it again sparatically. I love the reaction.
Of course it turned into a real blowjob, and a few minutes later when my cellphone rang I was licking his cum from my fingers.
He stayed with me last night, and while we were making dinner he joked that I liked giving them more than he liked receiving them. Well, I hope that's not quite true, damn.
We were watching The Secret of NIMH and he had a hard-on. He said to me that he wanted me wrapped around him. I would have stopped the movie right there and made love to him, but I didn't want to be rude. Or dirty. So I didn't. I just kept my hand on his cock, and he stroked my breasts.
But you know I should have stopped the movie, because I didn't get anything later. Or this morning. He fucked me from behind when he first arrived, just the way I like it, but didn't stop himself from coming too quickly. I joked about giving him four orgasms that day... "One down, three to go!"
Well, he only got that one, and the minute he walked out the door Sunday evening I had to masturbate.
After our shower (sex in the shower!) he was sitting at my computer and I was on the floor by his knees, resting my head on him. He put his cock on my face - it seems to be something he enjoys. Me, well, it's warm and soft, so no complaints. I licked the underside of his glans, and he squirmed in his seat, and continued browsing the internet. I'd do it again sparatically. I love the reaction.
Of course it turned into a real blowjob, and a few minutes later when my cellphone rang I was licking his cum from my fingers.
He stayed with me last night, and while we were making dinner he joked that I liked giving them more than he liked receiving them. Well, I hope that's not quite true, damn.
We were watching The Secret of NIMH and he had a hard-on. He said to me that he wanted me wrapped around him. I would have stopped the movie right there and made love to him, but I didn't want to be rude. Or dirty. So I didn't. I just kept my hand on his cock, and he stroked my breasts.
But you know I should have stopped the movie, because I didn't get anything later. Or this morning. He fucked me from behind when he first arrived, just the way I like it, but didn't stop himself from coming too quickly. I joked about giving him four orgasms that day... "One down, three to go!"
Well, he only got that one, and the minute he walked out the door Sunday evening I had to masturbate.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Womanly Confidence
Ninja was visiting his family down south and is staying with some friends in the suburbs 'til tomorrow or some-such. I had a nice stay with my family and friends for the holidays - I got some lovely quality time and some not-so-quality time. That's the way it is, you know?
I was chatting to him online a few days ago when I heard Brat Roommate and Pornstar Roommate having loud lesbian sex in Pornstar's room. They shower together and walk around naked all the time, I'd just never been around them actually getting it on. Until then. I mentioned it to him and he asked, "You going to join in?"
He's joked about me sleeping with other people before, and it never sat well with me. So I asked him why he said that, and he said he wondered if it was true.
My jaw fell on the floor.
Not that he really thought about it, or "whatever." Just that he thought there were "clues" and that he wondered if I was unfaithful. These clues?
"You've been pretty loose," and he figured something "big" must have been in there.
I love this boy to the moon and back. But Jesus on the bloody cross, I can't believe he thought that. I can't fucking believe it.
You can get loose from a BABY'S HEAD ripping out your twat, but I'm pretty sure only the most monsterous of cocks would leave a mark. Maybe if, say, I walked around with a cucumber up my vag all day long. But, you know, I'm pretty normal. I don't do that. So the looseness thing mystifies me; guess I'll have to do more Kegals.
But cheating. He thought I could be cheating on him. I'm broken.
We then went on to converse about my fitness. Great tangent, right? The first year of college I gained five pounds, but it didn't sit well on me. I took the stairs, went on walks around the city, partook in a free kickboxing class, but it happened. That's what I get for living cheaply and buying pasta and cafeteria food. I started becoming unattractive to him, he admitted.
Throughout our being long-distance I'd take sexy pictures for him. During that time, I got self-conscious, but he'd keep asking for them, telling me he'd see me as I was. Made me feel better, you know? Wanted. Okay. But really, I guess half the time he was lying.
I can't fault him for his preferences, but where's the elbow room? Can I compete with that? When am I actually what he wants?
Since starting boxing I've changed for the better. I am happier, I eat better, I'm much more confident. I think I'm looking pretty damn good now, and will only get better because I only get more and more motivated. But that sucked. I've been thinking about it ever since.
It has nothing to do with love, but all to do with being in a sexual relationship. Joy.
I was chatting to him online a few days ago when I heard Brat Roommate and Pornstar Roommate having loud lesbian sex in Pornstar's room. They shower together and walk around naked all the time, I'd just never been around them actually getting it on. Until then. I mentioned it to him and he asked, "You going to join in?"
He's joked about me sleeping with other people before, and it never sat well with me. So I asked him why he said that, and he said he wondered if it was true.
My jaw fell on the floor.
Not that he really thought about it, or "whatever." Just that he thought there were "clues" and that he wondered if I was unfaithful. These clues?
"You've been pretty loose," and he figured something "big" must have been in there.
I love this boy to the moon and back. But Jesus on the bloody cross, I can't believe he thought that. I can't fucking believe it.
You can get loose from a BABY'S HEAD ripping out your twat, but I'm pretty sure only the most monsterous of cocks would leave a mark. Maybe if, say, I walked around with a cucumber up my vag all day long. But, you know, I'm pretty normal. I don't do that. So the looseness thing mystifies me; guess I'll have to do more Kegals.
But cheating. He thought I could be cheating on him. I'm broken.
We then went on to converse about my fitness. Great tangent, right? The first year of college I gained five pounds, but it didn't sit well on me. I took the stairs, went on walks around the city, partook in a free kickboxing class, but it happened. That's what I get for living cheaply and buying pasta and cafeteria food. I started becoming unattractive to him, he admitted.
Throughout our being long-distance I'd take sexy pictures for him. During that time, I got self-conscious, but he'd keep asking for them, telling me he'd see me as I was. Made me feel better, you know? Wanted. Okay. But really, I guess half the time he was lying.
I can't fault him for his preferences, but where's the elbow room? Can I compete with that? When am I actually what he wants?
Since starting boxing I've changed for the better. I am happier, I eat better, I'm much more confident. I think I'm looking pretty damn good now, and will only get better because I only get more and more motivated. But that sucked. I've been thinking about it ever since.
It has nothing to do with love, but all to do with being in a sexual relationship. Joy.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
